Boredom might sound appealing to those who are constantly rushed off their feet. But feeling underworked may be more common and damaging than you think. In fact, a recent study showed that almost 20 percent of U.S. workers feel "actively disengaged" from their work. It's such a prolific problem that it even has a name: rust-out.

Rust-out vs. Burnout

If burnout is the stressed and tired employee rushing from one task to the next, rust-out is their lethargic and unmotivated colleague.

The term, originally coined by psychotherapist Paula Coles, refers to chronic boredom borne out of unstimulating work. In contrast, burnout is caused by overstimulation. And while it may sound contradictory, doing too little can be just as emotionally exhausting as doing too much.

The causes of burnout and rust-out may be poles apart but the symptoms can be surprisingly similar. Those suffering with rust-out can feel agitated, short-tempered or anxious, and may procrastinate to avoid work that doesn't motivate them. If left unchecked, long-term boredom can even affect your eating and sleeping habits, and lead to depression.

How to Spot the Signs of Rust-out

Much like real rust, rust-out can linger below the surface and may not be immediately obvious. You may even mistake it for laziness. Instead, rust-out can actually be a sign that you've outgrown your role or responsibilities.

Perhaps you feel that your job is the same day in, day out, with no sign of change. Or that the work you do doesn't align with your personal values. It could be that your skills aren't being put to proper use. You're certainly not learning anything new.

And while rust-out can occur at any point in your career, these feelings are particularly common among new graduates and middle managers. The former may feel limited by a role that doesn't reflect their abilities and qualifications. The latter may feel stuck in their routine, unable to progress, and believe that their career has plateaued.

How to Defeat Rust-out

Whether you're suffering from rust-out yourself, or you manage someone else who is, spotting the signs early is the best way to tackle it before it gets out of hand.

Be Honest

When a job becomes boring or unfulfilling, it's easy to assume that you need to move on to greener pastures. But a new job isn't the only answer.

Be honest with your manager about how you're feeling and discuss ways that you can incorporate more of what you love into your existing role. There may be more opportunities to craft your job to your liking than you realize!

As a manager, be compassionate and broach the subject carefully. Assure your team member that you're there to help, and establish a solid understanding of the problem before you offer solutions.

Identify Your Values

One common reason that people feel unhappy in their jobs is that their work doesn't reflect their values. Consider the times in your life and career when you've felt the happiest, proudest and most fulfilled.

Perhaps it’s when you've helped someone through a difficult time, solved a seemingly impossible problem, or made a lucrative sale. Once you've determined what matters most to you, you'll be able to prioritize these values and steer your career in the right direction.

As a manager, be patient and open-minded; this process can take time and you may hear some hard truths, but it's vital that you don’t become defensive. In fact, this feedback is crucial to ensure that your team is running at its best.

Find Your Passions

Do you have any special skills that aren’t being utilized? For example, do you have a creative streak that's going unnoticed in an admin-heavy role? When our strengths and passions are ignored or underappreciated, it's easy to lose motivation.

Identify the things that you do best and explore ways that you can incorporate them into your job, as well as other positions and opportunities that better suit your skillset.

It's a manager's role to ensure that everyone's jobs align with their strengths so keep an eye out for skills gaps in your teams. What new opportunities could your team members take on? What support or training would they need to develop? How can you help them achieve their goals?

The Bright Side of Rust-out

Rust-out can feel like a dark cloud hanging over you, but the good news is that there is a silver lining. If you're feeling unfulfilled in your job, then now is a great opportunity to reassess your current position, immediate opportunities for growth, and long-term goals.

Useful Resources

Here's a curated list of Mind Tools relevant resources (please keep in mind you may need to be a member of the Mind Tools Club to access certain resources):

What Are Your Values?

Overcoming Procrastination (Skillbook)

How to Take Care of Your “Social Battery”

Job Crafting

Avoiding Burnout

About the Author

With a background in writing and illustration, Rosie uses her creative eye to produce eye-catching content. Specializing in videos, newsletters and articles, Rosie produces, writes, edits, and proofreads a wide range of resources. When she's not busy working, she'll likely be found whipping up cakes for her friends and family!

The post What Is Rust-out? Meet Burnout's Boring Alter Ego appeared first on Mind Tools.

Even after three years, we are still riding the ripple effects of Covid-19, and we’re still living in “uncertain times.” That's why we've created a brand new range of stress and wellbeing videos aimed at addressing the various different aspects and impacts of stress. Here's how they can help...

Identifying Different Types of Stress 

Living in a permacrisis means that stressors are coming at you from left, right and center! And with so many different factors at play, it can be hard to know exactly why you feel stressed. Is it that deadline that’s looming? Or that “quick chat” your boss asked for tomorrow? 

Knowing what kind of stress you’re experiencing is a vital first step to overcoming it. 

Dr Karl Albrecht defines four types of stress that you’ve likely encountered at some point in your life: Time, Anticipatory, Situational, and Encounter Stress. Find out more about each of them in our video on Albrecht’s Four Types of Stress.

Dealing With Money Worries

A more specific type of stress is financial anxiety, and it’s becoming increasingly common. In fact, the majority of adults in the U.S. cite inflation as a cause of stress.  

Financial struggles affect everyone differently, and it’s hard to cut down on spending if you already have a tight budget. But there are still things that you can do to minimize this kind of stress, and there are people that you can reach out to if you’re really struggling. 

Discover more in our video, Personal Financial Stress and Wellbeing. 

Setting Boundaries to Protect Your Wellbeing

If you have an active or high-strain job, chances are you probably experience stress at work. You may even carry this home with you, which can have a negative effect on your family and friends. The Demand-Control Model of Job Stress is designed to help you manage precisely this kind of stress, by analyzing your workload and level of autonomy.

Protecting your boundaries at work is another great way to ease job stress, whether your role is high-strain or not. You may find it hard to say "no" to people, even when you have a mountain of other things vying for your attention. But it you say "yes" to everything, you may find you struggle to get anything done! It isn’t always easy to say “no” to someone, but our video on managing your boundaries at work has lots of tips on how to protect your time and energy. 

Supporting Others to Cope With Stress 

And what if you spot someone else struggling with stress – do you feel equipped to help them? Or do you struggle to know what to do?  

If you’re a manager or leader, it’s your responsibility to provide your workforce with the right tools and support systems for managing their mental health. And there are plenty of things you can do to help as a colleague, too. Our video, 6 Ways to Support Employees’ Mental Health provides some great advice on how you can do just that. 

What did you think of our stress and wellbeing videos? If you have more tips on how to manage stress in a permacrisis, we’d love to hear them! Please share your ideas and experiences in the comments below. 

Our next batch of videos will cover different types and methods of coaching! Keep an eye out for them on February 21. 

The post Managing Stress in a Permacrisis – NEW Stress and Wellbeing Videos appeared first on Mind Tools.

Winter depression can arise from seasonal changes in sunlight exposure and temperature. Combine this with the ongoing cost of living crisis, and it's never been more important for managers to recognize and combat stress within their teams.

Managing the Winter Blues

Low mood or depression can affect anyone, so it's vital that managers take support themselves, as well as supporting their team members. With the added pressures of protecting their team's wellbeing, managers can often overlook their own mental health and even harbor feelings of guilt when taking time off to look after themselves.

To mark International Stress Awareness Week, we're taking a closer look at how winter can affect team wellbeing, and what managers can do to manage workplace stress in the colder months.

SAD in the Workplace

SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), sometimes called "the winter blues" or "winter depression," affects sufferers in a particular seasonal pattern. Usually, though not always, the symptoms will be most severe from September to April and will drop off during the spring and summer.

Though it's not unusual to occasionally feel down or unmotivated as the weather takes a turn for the worse, SAD is a serious mental condition with symptoms that can be adjacent to clinical depression.

Some of the common signs of SAD that you should be aware of include:

• Frequent, sometimes poorly-explained absences in the winter.
• Difficulty concentrating in meetings or on projects.
• A general lack of energy in work and conversations.
• Sudden changes in diet (for example, comfort eating).
• A palpably bad mood that seems to have come on with the winter.

Other Factors That Lead to Stress in the Winter

While seasonal affective disorder can be a major cause of stress in and of itself, it's important that managers stay conscious of other, more pervasive sources of stress that can manifest in the workplace.

This International Stress Awareness Week, one of the most talked-about sources of stress has been the ongoing cost of living crisis. And with temperatures dropping as energy prices continue to soar, it's no wonder so many people are on edge.

In fact, surveys from June of this year reported by The Guardian showed that "77 percent of people over the age of 16 [in the UK] reported feeling 'very or somewhat worried about the rising cost of living'." Further reports showed that "67 percent of Americans express great concern about the cost of living increasing."

Another cause of stress in the winter is the run-up to the holidays. The pressure of organizing family celebrations, travel arrangements, and the sheer financial strain of having to afford it all, can prove too much for many people.

For those already prone to suffering from seasonal affective disorder, these added sources of stress can make the season even more difficult. Managers should be mindful of these issues in order to give their team members the support they need throughout the winter.

Beating SAD and Winter Blues in Your Team

If you’re worried about how SAD and other winter-related stressors could be affecting your team, here are a few of our favorite tips for supporting your staff through the colder months.

Give Them Opportunities to Soak Up the Sun

Though SAD still isn’t very well understood, many medical experts believe that its causes are rooted in the fact that people don't get as much exposure to sunlight during the winter. 

As the days get shorter, it's important to create time in the day for your staff to step outside and enjoy some much-needed sunshine. For example, block out meeting-free zones in everyone's calendars to ensure that they can step away from their desks and take a break.

If busy schedules make this unfeasible, then your team may benefit from flexible working. With more autonomy over when and where they work, team members will not only be able to make the most of the limited winter daylight, but according to a 2021 study by Gartner, it could also make them more productive at work. 

Educate Yourself and Your Staff

Unfortunately, it's common for mental health issues to fly under the radar. That's why education is one of the best ways to combat wintertime stress.

Don't worry: no one's expecting you to re-train as a psychiatrist. But take the time to learn about stress in the workplace, its causes, and how management can help to mitigate it. This way you can keep on top of problems as they arise, making your workplace a less stressful place for everyone.

Encouraging your staff to do the same can also help them to look for the warning signs in themselves and others, and feel more comfortable talking to you about the problems they're facing.

Improve Employees’ Working Environment

Not everyone is comfortable talking about the winter blues, or even any aspect of their mental wellbeing at work. But that shouldn't stop you from taking active steps to combat seasonal blues.

If your team's working environment is dark, cramped or cluttered, then it could be exacerbating SAD symptoms without you even realizing! Consider how you can make your workspace a more pleasant place to be. Simple steps like rearranging furniture, clearing out built-up clutter, and removing partitions, can go a long way to improving everyone's mood at work.

If you’re sure that SAD is a problem in your team, there are even daylight-simulating SAD lights now sold by many major retailers. We spoke to Charlie Swift, Managing Editor at Mind Tools, about his own experience of winter lethargy: "I find getting up in the dark difficult and the blinding glare of putting on the light distressing (no overstatement). So I use a sunrise lamp that gradually comes on while I'm asleep. It peaks with my alarm and stays on for another 10 mins. Somehow, I'm already adjusted to it by the time I wake up and it's not a brutal jolt. And I feel ready to get up rather than desperate to bury myself back under the duvet."

Just like ergonomic chairs and new monitors, these pieces of equipment can have a real, positive impact on people's mood and productivity through the winter.

Final Thoughts

Stress at work can often go undetected, but with a proactive approach, managers can spot the early signs of winter blues and learn how to tackle stress in their teams. 

During this year’s International Stress Awareness Week, we hope this guide to seasonal stress has helped you as you work to lead a happier, healthier, and more productive team!

About the Author:

Chris is a passionate mental health and wellbeing writer and psychologist, focusing on sharing his experience and improving the lives of others. When Chris isn't researching the latest holistic and wellbeing therapies, he's spending time with his two cats, usually curled up on the sofa reading a book.

The post Beating the Winter Blues: How to Manage Stress and SAD at Work appeared first on Mind Tools.

Balance in work is not better time management, but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices.

How Can I Help You When I’m Exhausted Too?

Under the best of circumstances, work can be exhausting. Too many projects, conflicting deadlines, and resource shortages may combine to cause stress and anxiety and drain our energy. (Have you noticed that while there are often resource shortages, there's never a shortage of projects?)

How to Help Team Members Avoid or Recover From Exhaustion

I've helped lead teams for nearly three decades, through reductions in force, mergers, reorganizations, and most recently, a global pandemic. The following five practices have helped me help my colleagues to survive and succeed through ongoing changes and stressors of the workplace:

1. I first need to make sure I'm taking care of myself. I can't very well help a colleague manage their stress and fatigue if I'm not able to manage my own. My own wellbeing must be a priority.
2. Next, I try to be present and pay attention. One of my mantras is work the day, don't let my day work me. If I'm working my day, I'm attuned to the people around me. Who needs help? Who's facing a challenge? How may I help?
3. The next step is to listen openly and actively. So many times we want to jump to the solution. Our reflex may be to try to "fix" things, when what our colleague really needs is someone who will listen. One of the leadership muscles I've grown over the years is to help people find their own solutions by simply being there to listen. Often workplace fatigue and dissatisfaction come from a feeling of not being acknowledged. A practice of open listening helps to build trust and lets your colleague know that they matter and that they are heard.
4. To do this, I make sure I'm connecting consistently, both formally and informally. For example, our team has a daily 9:30 a.m. check-in and every team member participates. It's a great way to find out who may be overloaded and who may be able to help. It's also a chance for us to celebrate and share successes. That's energizing in itself!
5. Finally, I try to lead with empathy and compassion. I may not fully understand the situation, but if I’m exercising empathy, I'm letting the other person know that I'm there to help. And here's the thing about practicing empathy – it creates an energy of its own. I often leave a conversation where my colleague or I are reaching out in a way that conveys empathy and I find myself energized.

These five practices remind me that no matter my job or my role on the team, I seek to be of service. Letting that purpose guide my efforts helps me to effectively manage workplace stress and fatigue, for myself and others.

Managing Exhausted Team Members

During Friday’s #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed the ways to identify and address signs of fatigue and burnout within ourselves and with others.  Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses:

Q1. How do you recognize signs of exhaustion (in yourself and/or others)?

@SayItForwardNow Many ways, including: actually looking tired, missing deadlines, forgetting information that is usually at one's "fingertips," and higher-than-usual anxiety.

@pavelStepanov77 You are exhausted when you can no longer focus on what you are doing and your brain is telling you to take a rest.

Q2. Is there a difference between exhaustion and burnout? Explain.

@NWarind Exhaustion needs recharging whereas burnout needs rebooting.

@JeffBledsoe33 With exhaustion, there is an opportunity to recover. With burnout, you run the risk of developing resentment or no recovery to a point of no return to a task, job, or career.

Q3. What can you do if someone can’t see their own fatigue/exhaustion?

@ColfaxInsurance Approach the subject in a way that won't make the other person feel like you're attacking or judging them. If you come from a place of caring and understanding, they will (hopefully) be more open to seeing the problem.

@ThiamMeka2Gogue Raise their awareness about the issue and recommend them to take a break, such as: clearing their schedule of nonessential tasks for a few days; taking an extended vacation; or booking an hour of time for themselves each day.

Q4. How would you approach someone to discuss the impact of exhaustion on their performance?

@CaptRajeshwar As leaders, we should have that aura where anyone can approach us with their challenges. Exhaustion happens also with small skill gaps, to which people get struck and feel ashamed to ask for help. We should read between the lines and create a barrier-free, fearless space.

@_GT_Coaching There may be various formal processes but informally I would aim to create an environment that encourages people to go to others knowing there will be no judgment. My approach is always one of coaching so asking them for their thoughts about their performance.

Q5. What responsibility does a team member have for their own risk of exhaustion and how does that change your view of them?

@Midgie_MT We are all responsible for ourselves to do what is necessary; however, the person might be in denial and be so overwhelmed that they do not know where to start. Offer support and resources.

@DrSupriya_MT My view about such people would surely be supportive because taking care of yourself is what adult behavior is. Not standing up for yourself will create a trap for others, too.

Q6. What factors lead to a workplace culture of exhaustion or burnout?

@simplicitytown [One factor is] over-demanding bosses putting pressure [on their teams].

@MikeB_MT Too many projects, staff and resource shortages, unforgiving deadlines, unrealistic expectations, and a culture that doesn't forgive or make it OK to fail – all could lead to exhaustion among employees.

Q7. Which workplace policies can help to prevent exhaustion/burnout? How do they benefit employees?

@junkkDNA Team outings, prioritizing health, and work-life balance; they increase productivity, work efficiency and also keep employees mentally and physically healthy.

@PG_pmp Equality and transparency with no biases can.

Q8. How can you lead by example to prevent exhaustion and burnout?

@SayItForwardNow Model BALANCE between work and the rest of my life. Do not send emails to work teams late at night or very early morning. Do not work on vacation days! Discuss the importance of prioritization and of self-care!

@BRAVOMedia1 Depends on where you are working, but the "leader" sets the tone of the organization. Since that leader usually answers to a bigger leader whose "soul" purpose is only on ROI, it's doomed from the onset. (Not an optimistic thought but my truth from my corporate environment days.)

@greatergoodgeek I might ask a co-worker to take a quick 10-minute walk up and down the hallway with me, to stretch the legs on a long work day at the desk.

Q9. How can you best support an exhausted team member?

@AnuMeera2024 Give a genuine opportunity to share; feeling heard without judgment is a huge relief. Validate and don't dismiss. Let them have an unbiased, objective session to review the situation and come up with a wish list of solutions – to be determined and negotiated.

@ZalaB_MT Offer empathy and support. Don't judge or even assume people are making it up or seeing attention. If you see a co-worker struggling, try talking to them and if you see warning signs of deep exhaustion; talk to your manager and let them take the lead.

Q10. What are some tips to manage exhaustion and any associated guilt?

@Dwyka_Consult Don't live to work. Live to live. Practice self-compassion. It will also help you to be more compassionate towards other exhausted people.

@SabrinaCadini In addition to taking care of the basics (nutrition, sleep, movement, self-care), taking breaks can absolutely help and focus on your breathing. It can do wonders when feeling stressed out or exhausted; it's a little "reset" practice helping the body switch from the fight-or-flight state to a more relaxed state.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat over here.

Coming Up

Managing our exhaustion and burnout can cause stress.

Good stress relievers include activities that calm the mind, body, and soul.  How do you feel when you're calm after being stressed or angry? 

In our Twitter poll this week, we'd like you to share the activities you find calming.

Exhaustion Resources

Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.

Are You a Fake-Aholic?
Your Top Tips to Avoid Emotional Exhaustion at Work
Recovering From Burnout
Managing Your Boundaries
How to Find the Right Work-Life Balance
How to Be More Organized
Managing Stress
7 Ways to Keep Going When You Want to Give Up
Prioritization
Self-Discipline

The post Managing Exhausted Team Members – #MTTalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

"The gates of hell are locked from the inside."

Fake-aholics would recognize themselves in this quotation. They exist in a living nightmare made of their own choosing.

What Is a Fake-Aholic?

A fake-aholic is someone who has a compulsion to work hard, day in and day out, even when they're beyond exhausted. But they don't let on that they are worn out. Instead, they put on a brave front, and pretend that everything is fine.

On the outside, fake-aholics appear to have a high drive and to be highly involved in their work. To their colleagues, they seem as work enthusiasts, who show up calm and in control.

On the inside, however, there is a different reality. Fake-aholics experience low work enjoyment, even dread, because they’re constantly overwhelmed and stressed. It's a high act of pretence that no one notices because fake-aholics are so adept at acting as if everything is in order.

What makes matters worse is that no matter how bad they feel on the inside, fake-aholics are often in denial of their situations. What they fail to see is that continually pretending to be in control can lead to emotional misery, physical and emotional exhaustion, burnout and illness.

Why Are Fake-Aholics in Denial?

Ingrained Fake-Aholic Habits

Fake-aholics develop a habit of plastering a smile on their faces to hide their exhaustion. They can also appear impassive, to conceal the fact that they're in over their heads.

They're so used to this behavior that it becomes second nature. They can become so desensitized to these habits that they become their way of life. Living on the edge for a long time feels normal.

Inability to Envision Alternatives

In their hearts, some fake-aholics know that this is not the way they want to spend their professional lives, but they may feel that their situations are inescapable.

Consequently, fake-aholics fear that trying to make a change may only open an emotional portal with no viable results. They see no exit, so, why bother?

Layoff Survivor Guilt

Fake-aholics who keep their jobs in the present challenging economic times might experience layoff survivor guilt. They might, therefore, be ill at ease at the thought of complaining about the intensity of work schedules, for example, when others have lost their jobs.

The Comparison Trap

Some fake-aholics fall into the comparison trap. They compare themselves with other people in similar or worse situations who seem to be coping well. The comparison reinforces their fear of appearing weak and being "found out."

Four Solutions for Fake-Aholism

You don't have to be defenceless against the debilitating effects of fake-aholism. Consider these four simple strategies to help you:

1. Start an Accomplishment Diary

One emotion fake-aholics grapple with is the fear of being perceived as inadequate. My coach shared this piece of wisdom with me long ago. He said, "If you don't deal with the emotions, the emotions will deal with you."

That is, the inability to square off with our emotions doesn't make them go away. They stay inside, causing increased anxiety and intensified rumination. Research shows that inhibiting the expression of emotions can endanger our physical and psychological health and well-being.

One way of quieting the fear of appearing inadequate is to start an accomplishment diary. At the end of your workday ask yourself, "What did I achieve today?" Jot down your successes for the day, however big or small. Consider these examples:

There are many wins, big and small, that can go unnoticed in a day. Keeping score of these wins is hard data that can help you to appreciate all that you have accomplished.

2. Get Rid of Fake-Aholic Comparison

Confidence begins when you decide to be yourself. Comparing yourself to others can only lead to misery. Instead, measure yourself against who you were in the past. You can go back several years, several weeks, or just yesterday. Ask yourself, "Am I better today than I was yesterday? If not, what can I learn to do better tomorrow?"

Self-comparison is the most meaningful way to assess your growth and inspire you to continue to enhance yourself.

3. Establish a Support Network

You may feel shame at your "failure" to cope. So surround yourself with people you trust, who are supportive of you despite your "imperfections." These could be colleagues, family, or friends.

Don't be surprised if you discover that you're not alone: many people feel overwhelmed, especially in times of crisis, and don't own up to it, either.

Asking your colleagues for help may seem particularly daunting, but chances are they'd be happy to take the strain off you, and your working relationships could be stronger, not weaker, as a result.

Use social media to connect with groups that can offer guidance, and solutions you may not have considered. Talking to like-minded people is one of the best self-soothing activities.

4. Take a Break!

If you're struggling with workload, but still find it hard to say no to new tasks, your performance will eventually falter. You can't perform at your best when you're at your limits all the time. So, instead of trying to keep up with deadlines and present a façade of calm, combat your self-judgment and dare to face reality.

When you're feeling particularly anxious, step back and take time to regain control. Think about what factors are causing you to feel overwhelmed and focus on the parts you can control. Can you negotiate a deadline, or delegate some of your tasks to other team members?

By doing less, you can sometimes achieve more.

What Happens If You Have a Fake-Aholic Team Member?

There are many initiatives you can take to help a person cope with, and even overcome, fake-aholism. Here are a few to consider:

Help Them to Feel Safe

Compassion and understanding go a long way when a team member opens up to you, so make sure to listen mindfully and respectfully to what they have to say.

Then help them to understand that their fears are not unique, and that everyone struggles at one point or other in their lives. Consider sharing a personal story of your own that reinforces your point.

Look out for (Well-Meant) Dishonesty

Even if your employee has admitted to fake-aholic behaviors, they will likely continue to find it hard to be honest with themselves or you. But remember that this is likely through fear and shame, not malice.

Pay attention to their language and zero in on any unrealistically optimistic promises. Discuss their To-Do Lists and read between the lines. Observe their working patterns: what hours are they keeping, and are they sustainable?

Flag your concerns without blame or judgment. Instead, act as their defense lawyer. This is a kind and generous gift you can easily give.

Encourage the Heart

Show them that you have confidence in them, and that you are happy to have them on your team. Go over a portfolio of their achievements and contributions, and emphasize the value that they add to your organization.

Remember, we all have in us a metaphorical bucket that needs to be filled with affirmations. Helping a fake-aholic to appreciate themselves is one situation where genuine praise can go a long way.

Take a Load off Their Plate

Make sure that they don't have too much to do in too little time. Ask them what extra resources they need to help them to carry out their responsibilities.

Discuss reassigning one or two of their projects to another team member to ease their workload. But be ready for a denial that help is needed, and reassure them that there is no implied failure in such an intervention.

If you are a fake-aholic...

Take comfort in the knowledge that, while it may not be easy, overcoming fake-aholism is doable. You don't need to feel helpless. Acknowledge your situation and seek support. Most of all, focus on all the things that you get right and practice self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is a gift we give to ourselves. It's the gift of self-trust.

Bruna Martinuzzi is an experienced coach, presenter and trainer living in Canada. She's the author of "The Leader as Mensch," excerpts of which are available to read in the Mind Tools toolkit. She's also the author of several Mind Tools blogs.

The post Are You a Fake-Aholic? appeared first on Mind Tools.

Certain that a fake news article had sent people into overdrive, I switched on my computer. But it was true. There were major riots breaking out across South Africa.

Immediately, my mind was spinning. Is my family OK? Do I have enough fuel in my car? Is the grocery cupboard stocked? Do I have enough broccoli (my food addiction) and milk (for my coffee addiction)? Most importantly: do I have enough dog food to keep a 45 kg Rottweiler going for a few weeks?

Driven to Distraction

So I sped over to the grocery store, followed by a frantic trip to the vet to get dog food, and piled back into my car. But then it all went south.

As I slowly backed out of the parking spot, and my car's parking sensor beeped to a steady rhythm, my mind was racing. I checked items off the growing to-do list in my head, remembered that I had to phone my aunt when I got home, and worried about being home alone since my husband was out of the country.

I looked at the image on the console from the reverse-view camera as I wondered if I should have picked up more bottled water at the grocery store, and how I'd work if the Wi-Fi went down.

But even as the sensor's beeping became faster, and a large metal pole loomed into the camera's view, my mind was on other things.

My car's fender met the pole. My stomach echoed the thud – and my heart, too.

Repeating the Cycle

This wasn't the first time I'd had a small accident when feeling stressed. The car had already suffered a few bumps and scrapes, I'd dropped a weight on my foot, and I'd even been catapulted off a treadmill because I wasn't concentrating. It's funny now. It wasn't funny then.

I was convinced I'd learned my lesson that I needed to be extra careful when I feel overwhelmed – but obviously I hadn't. I'd heard the beeping of the parking sensor and I'd been watching the camera image. But I'd still dented the fender.

I had identified the lesson after previous incidents, but clearly I hadn't learned it.

If it was truly a lesson learned, I would have applied the knowledge. I would have taken a few seconds to breathe, return to the present, and get my thoughts under control before I started the car.

More Lessons Identified

Burnout

Many people suffer from repeated burnout. They'll tell you that their body often warns them to slow down – and they know that they should listen. Yet, they have to get to the brink of burnout (or worse) before they slow down.

Boundaries

Perhaps you're a people pleaser. Despite learning the hard way that there are some people you can't trust, you continue to compromise your own boundaries for the sake of "keeping the peace." But you can only protect yourself from toxic people if you learn to keep your boundaries firmly in place.

Procrastination

Procrastination causes a specific type of stress: you feel anxious, restless, you can't enjoy anything, and you feel terrible about yourself. After a particularly bad and stressful experience, you promise yourself that you've learned the lesson. You also know how much better you feel when you stay on top of your tasks instead of working through the night. But, slowly, you start procrastinating again until the next crisis hits. Does that sound familiar?

Lessons Identified Vs. Lessons Learned

During Friday's #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed the difference between identifying a lesson and learning a lesson. Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses:

Q1. How do we usually identify life lessons? What happens?

@HloniphileDlam7 When we stumble we learn the most. Pain also teaches us a lot.

@carriemaslen We can only identify life lessons after we've learned them first hand!

Q2 What's the difference between a lesson identified and a lesson learned?

@SoniaH_MT Lesson Identified + Action Taken or Modified Behavior = Lesson Learned

@SarahH_MT  Lesson identified requires looking back. It's reflecting on what happened and what needs to change. Lesson learned is looking forward and in the present moment. It's also active. By changing x, y, z I got a better outcome. I'll do more of that in the future.

@MarkC_Avgi Burning your hand on something hot, once, is a lesson identified. Burning your hand on something hot, more than once, you only identified it. Obviously, you did not learn anything after you identified the initial lesson.

Q3. Why might we think we've learned the lesson when in fact we've only identified it?

@Yolande_MT I think myself to exhaustion about lessons identified. I think myself so tired that it feels as if I've learned them.

@TheTomGReid Until the lesson is internalized and made part of our belief structure, it is not learned. We might be aware of a certain gap in our logic or sentiment and not be able to explain it. Could be due to it being an ugly truth we are not ready to accept.

Q4. When you hear a business or community leader say "lessons have been learned" what do you see happen next? What would you advise?

@Midgie_MT Often times those are empty words because it is not followed up with tangible, visible action to address the problem/ issue. My advice is to take action and demonstrate what concrete things are being done.

@J_Stephens_CPA More often than not, it only means a lesson has been identified.  Corrective actions need to be taken (not blame).

Q5. What type of lessons seem easy to identify but harder to learn?

@Dwyka_Consult It's very easy to identify lessons that other people need to learn... that's my lesson that's easy to identify and hard to learn: to remember that other people will learn what they learn.

@Tanjiskas For me it's the lessons that require me to change my beliefs, the deepest fibre of my being. Those are really hard because most of the time it is something I have learned in childhood.

Q6. What strategies or techniques have you discovered to learn lessons more quickly?

@TheTomGReid Rather than make resolutions based on your "resolve" set up systems that modify your behavior. Keep the cookies on the top shelf until you stop buying them at all. All your goals can be achieved if you set up the systems that modify your behavior. Willpower is weak.

@SoniaH_MT Asking or researching someone else who has successfully conquered the issue you're dealing with can help you learn lessons more quickly.

Q7. How and when do you know if you've learned the lesson?

@lg217 You will know when your life lesson is learned once you are able to identify the lesson as well as understand the life lesson to the point when you know the ins and outs as well if what you learned is right or wrong to do.

@ZalkaB When you are in a similar situation or faced with similar circumstances, and it doesn't trigger you anymore and/ or you react differently, because you've changed.

Q8. What lessons have you identified that you're still struggling to learn?

@J_Stephens_CPA  I keep "volunteering."

@MarkC_Avgi To not get "sucked in" to topics on Twitter by responding to tweets which I have strong opinions about, or to attend every argument I am invited to.

Q9. How do you begin to move from lesson learned to lesson applied?

@yehiadief When you teach the lesson to others.

@SarahH_MT By being more mindful, building in more time to notice earlier what's working and what isn't, building self-awareness, setting personal goals and commitments, creating habits and routines that support/ reinforce the learning, being prepared for imperfection.

Q10. In what way can you help others identify and learn life lessons?

@ColfaxInsurance Ultimately, the power to identify and learn those lessons is up to them. You can offer advice, share your own experiences, and point out patterns, but they will need to do the learning on their own.

@HloniphileDlam7 First, find them; connect to what drives them and you will understand their path, share experience, warn and caution, and also be there when they learn their lessons – usually there are tears involved. By just being there they will learn the most from you.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat over here.

Coming Up

If you're struggling to move from lesson identified to lesson learned to lesson applied, an accountability partner might be just what you need. Next time on #MTtalk we'll be discussing accountability partners. In our Twitter poll this week, we want to know which characteristics you'd like to see in an accountability partner.

Resources

Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.

Developing Self-Awareness

10 Common Leadership and Management Mistakes

The Power of Good Habits

Intentional Change Theory

How to Defeat Self-Sabotage Video

Self-Mastery

How to Learn From Your Mistakes

Breaking Bad Habits

Self-Sabotage

8 Ways to Improve Self-Regulation

Golden Rules of Goal-Setting

Mindfulness in the Workplace

The post Lessons Identified Vs. Lessons Learned – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

"Exhaustion is not a result of too much time spent on something, but of knowing that in its place, no time is spent on something else."

Joyce Rachelle, Filipino author

Emotional Exhaustion Is Also Physical

Does emotion really exist or is it just something we make up in our heads and use as an excuse when it suits us?

The first thing we need to understand about emotions is that they are real. They are not just thoughts that exist in our heads and imaginations.

Emotions are actual neurological events (fueled by neurochemicals) that occur in the brain and nervous system. Anything that affects the nervous system has an effect on every organ and cell in your body.

Think what happens when you receive bad news. Say, for example, that you've just found out that your partner is cheating on you, or that a loved one has been in a serious accident.

Upon hearing the news, you feel it in your body. You might hyperventilate, shiver (even though it's not cold), get flushed cheeks, experience stomach cramps, or have palpitations, a dry mouth, or a weird feeling of weakness in your legs.

The Life Cycle of Emotions

Any emotion has a life cycle – a beginning, a middle and an end. Just after an "activating event," negative or positive, you will start feeling an emotion. It's a chemical reaction, and it's involuntary.

As your mind races with various thoughts and scenarios, these emotions can intensify. Then, as you digest what has happened and start dealing with it in one way or another, they become less intense, and eventually dissipate completely. The time it takes will likely depend on the severity of the activating event.

But what happens if you get stuck in the middle (intense part) of the emotion, and can't seem to move forward?

Remove the Problem and Then...

Many people erroneously believe that if they remove the problem or stressor, the feelings and emotions it caused will also disappear.

Emotions don't quite work that way. Although the stressor might be gone, the emotion is still in your mind and body, and will remain there until you've processed it and worked through it from beginning to end.

When you experience different events and their accompanying emotions one on top of the other (or a very long stressful event such as a pandemic), it's easy to feel trapped. That's because you likely don't have enough emotional energy to process such compounded emotions.

You can also get stuck in your emotions because some of them – like grief, shame, rage and helplessness – are very difficult to work though.

All of these can make you vulnerable to emotional exhaustion.

Emotional Exhaustion and Burnout

Emotional exhaustion is usually one of the first warning signs of burnout – and it's the element of burnout that is most damaging to our long-term physical and emotional health.

In her 1982 book, "Burnout: The Cost of Caring," Christina Maslach highlights three components of burnout: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a decreased sense of accomplishment.

Emotional exhaustion also occurs as a result of caring too much, for too long, and having no time or space to take care of yourself.

Women are especially prone to it because there is still the widespread belief or expectation that they are the primary caregivers, putting other people's needs before their own.

At some point, you become too empty to give, and depersonalization happens. You feel an emotional numbness and a decreased sense of empathy, caring and compassion.

Eventually, you hardly feel any sense of accomplishment, and as if nothing you do makes any difference.

The Reality of Emotional Exhaustion

I asked a few people to share what they experienced when they felt emotionally exhausted. I've changed their names, but not their experiences.

John said, "I stopped being curious about other people, which really shocked me. That meant I was reading people at face value and making all kinds of assumptions about them, sometimes the worst.

"I also stopped reaching out to help others – it didn't cross my mind they needed anything. Plus I didn't think I had anything to give anyway. For a while, I didn't care anyway! All in all, it's very isolating and alienating."

My friend Mary told me, "Everything I did seemed to take longer to complete. I was making simple grammatical mistakes when writing, and when I re-read things, I was shocked at the mistakes.

I Felt I Had Little Value

"I felt as if I had no energy or enthusiasm for anything in life, so I simply went through the motions with little enjoyment or joy. I became withdrawn, I self-isolated, and did not connect with others.

"I felt as if I had little of value, or interest, to say or contribute. Sometimes, it felt like just going out to see a friend for a coffee was too much effort – even when I knew it would have done me good."

My friend Brad blamed some of his emotional exhaustion on his workplace. He said that senior managers don't appreciate the human cost of working remotely in this stressful time. Where he works, people feel like only numbers matter.

Anne said, "The period following the breakup of my marriage was a tumultuous time. The split was sudden. I was in the midst of completing my Master's degree and still taking courses while I worked.

"My emotional state was raw. For the first few weeks, I was in a state of deep shock. Then, as time passed, I became numb to the pain. I buried myself in work to keep going.

"But as pressures mounted, the emotional stress grew to a point where I was having trouble thinking. I could barely read a paragraph. I grew distant from family and friends, and I became increasingly irritable at work.

"Sadly, I continued on this path for some time. There was no joy in anything I did. Successes didn't matter. I was just a shell until the inevitable happened – I hit the wall."

Reflect, Recover, Reset

Many common themes emerge from the real-life stories above. During the #MTtalk Twitter chat last Friday, we talked about emotional exhaustion. Here are the questions we asked and some of your most insightful responses:

Q1. Why do we become emotionally exhausted?

@NeViNShCe1 Maybe we avoid saying no to persons we care about. And we forget that we ourselves are also a person we should care about?

@PdJen I think it's because we focus on too many things. We have too many plates spinning, partly because of the pressures of modern life and the pressure to achieve.

@_TomGReid Our brain chemicals get depleted and need time to recharge.

Q2. How do you feel when you are emotionally exhausted?

@ColfaxInsurance Drained, on the verge of tears, constantly frustrated, ready to snap at anyone. Like you're putting on a mask that you're fine when you're really not.

@LrnGrowAchieve Like a failure. Full of self-doubt. Less capable of making decisions. Afraid. Afraid of making wrong decisions. Stuck.

Q3. How do you react to things when you are feeling emotionally exhausted?

@SizweMoyo I'm dismissive and critical, if not distant and uninterested. My general mood just doesn't care for consequence.

@LeadershipBEST If I am emotionally exhausted, I may say no to things I normally enjoy, like spending time with friends.

Q4. Do we admit to emotional exhaustion as readily as to physical exhaustion? Why, or why not?

@PG_pmp We do not admit, reason we are afraid of being typecast as weak.

@Ganesh_Sabari Physical exhaustion is visible & logically derived. Emotional exhaustion is more subtle and chronic. The drive to remain positive keeps emotional exhaustion suppressed till it gets acute. The answer is 'No'.

Note: We had participants from all over the world. It was alarming to see that ALL our participants said that people don't admit to emotional exhaustion because of stigma, fear of being seen as weak, or the risk of being labeled "not able to cope." This is serious food for thought!

Q5. How is emotional exhaustion different from burnout? Is it different?

@NikaPika_Chuuu Burnout encompasses fatigue as a whole, I think, and we're less likely to relate it to emotional exhaustion when we hear the term. I think a burnout is more of an umbrella term, but we're more likely to associate it with physical tiredness.

@MarkC_Avgi IMO & from my own experience, emotional exhaustion is a component of burnout, but not necessarily the sole component. Burnout & its symptoms is so much more than simply emotional exhaustion.

Q6. What sorts of things can you do to avoid becoming emotionally exhausted?

@J_Stephens_CPA 1) Take a break. Get up and move so you physically disconnect from the environment (need to work on this more). 2) Do those things that bring you joy too! (I'm reading lots more than before again.)

@NgukaOduor I started studying about emotions and gaining awareness on them. Also I picked up some mindfulness practice that helped me big time.

Q7. What actions might help you recover from emotional exhaustion?

@Yolande_MT Ditch the perfectionism, the all-or-nothing attitude, and poor self-care habits – from poor eating to excessive screen activity. Make space just to be.

@emapirciu Going to therapy, personal development, and learning to love yourself are ways to recover from emotional exhaustion.

Q8. What external factors make it difficult to overcome emotional exhaustion?

@MissMeryn Deadlines. Curveballs. Relationships. Illness. Layers of additional stress.

@MicheleDD_MT Lack of awareness and/or support at home or at work. Some workplaces choose to ignore the signs of emotional exhaustion.

Q9. What tell-tale signs can you look out for in others? How will you know that they might be emotionally exhausted?

@Midgie_MT Tell-tale signs include reactions that seem out of proportion with the situation, irritability, withdrawal, mistakes, manner of responding to things.

@aamir9769 Lack of concentration, less communication, nervousness, no confidence while speaking, seeking help, dependency, reluctance to ask for help, low morale, not opening up.

Q10. How can you best support a friend or colleague who is emotionally exhausted? How do you want to be supported?

@yehiadief At the least, I would make a point of understanding your reactions.

@letusthink2 You give them space and time. Allow them to take personal leave and regroup, ask if they would like to talk to a professional. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY DON'T JUDGE a person who is behaving and appearing different.

Note: A common theme that emerged here was that we need to be able to support others without judging. Because so many people mentioned it, could it be that we support people yet have a slightly judgmental attitude?

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat here. And for further insights into emotional exhaustion, read our blog on Lockdown Burnout and How to Avoid It.

Coming Up

One of the factors that contribute to emotional exhaustion is not practicing self-care on a physical, mental or emotional level. The next #MTtalk chat in our "Reflect, Recover & Reset" series is about self-shaming. In our poll this week, we'd like to know which self-shaming phrase you most often say to yourself. To see the poll and cast your vote, please click here.

Resources

To help you to prepare for the chat, we've compiled a list of resources for you to browse.

How to Avoid Generosity Burnout

Meditation for Stress Management

Recovering From Burnout

Burnout Self-Test

Dealing With Anxiety

Managing Your Boundaries

How to Relax After a Hard Day

Subjective Well-Being

Rest, Relaxation and Sleep

Energizing Yourself

Please note that these resources (and any other internal links on this page) will be available in their entirety only to Club members and corporate licensees.

The post Emotional Exhaustion – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

All of my close friends had both parents living at home, and many of them were wealthy. They came to school in cars that started without a push, and they went on expensive holidays. Despite good grades and sporting accolades, I felt like I didn't deserve to be there.

My sense of imposter syndrome got worse when I won a place at Oxford University. There, I met people whose fathers were diplomats in Africa, or whose mothers had studied at Oxford themselves. I was from a single-parent family in Liverpool. My dad was a retired shipping clerk while my mum had worked at an array of jobs, but never had a career.

The next rung on the ladder of my social climb was also the final straw. I got a job as a political journalist, working in Britain's Houses of Parliament. So I traveled with prime ministers and reported on wars and terrorist attacks. I'd got the job on merit, but I never felt good enough. I was always waiting to be found out.

Identify the Imposter

No surprise, then, that I did what any "imposter" would do in those circumstances – I overcompensated. I worked long hours, took on too much, abandoned my personal life, and wreaked havoc on my health. I drank to excess, overate, and exercised compulsively. By my mid-thirties, I'd burned out.

Which is why Dr Jessamy Hibberd's book "The Imposter Cure" spoke to me so much. I recognized myself in the case studies of her clients, and in her descriptions of people who go through life feeling like a fraud on the inside, while performing well on the outside.

Her exploration of the causes of low self-esteem, insecurity, and self-doubt especially struck a chord and took me way back – to the day I came home from school with a report card that boasted a string of A grades and one solitary B.

Dad asked, "What happened here, love?"

I see now that he was probably poking fun at me. He wasn't a stern man. But in that moment, I understood that my results hadn't been good enough. Must do better. Have to work harder. Must achieve 100 percent.

Break the Perfectionist Cycle

The seed of perfectionism was planted. It later grew into a compulsion to overwork as well as to procrastinate, for fear my performance would never match up. Workaholism, perfectionism and procrastination are the killers of joy, creativity and productivity.

For years, these behaviors robbed me of the opportunity to fulfill my potential and to have a balanced and healthy life. My journey also supports Hibberd's conclusion that we can break free from this pernicious cycle and challenge our inner imposter.

My burnout led me to re-evaluate my work and my life. I understood that no amount of external praise was going to fix how I felt or heal the wounds from my childhood (the school report card wasn't the only experience that scarred me). It was an inside job.

And I had to learn to recognize and celebrate my own achievements – to pause before moving on to the next thing. I had to learn to esteem myself and build up my confidence. More than that, I had to become more comfortable with failure and with making mistakes. And, most importantly, I had to slow down and create a more balanced life.

Self-Care, Not Sabotage

There are two big milestones on my journey. The first is my wedding day a year ago. I'd finally managed to stop overworking, to allow space for more fun, self-care, dating – and, ultimately, a committed relationship. I got married at 48 after decades of neglecting my personal life.

The second is the publication of my first book in 2017. In the past, my inner perfectionist would have sabotaged my efforts and I'd still be quibbling over the words. But it's done. It's out there. And readers are loving it.

I'm now writing my second and my third books. And these days, when people ask, I can even call myself a writer without feeling like an imposter. That's huge progress.

Downloading Our "The Imposter Cure" Book Insight

We review the best new business books and the tested classics in our monthly Book Insights, available in text form or as 15-minute audio downloads.

So, if you're a Mind Tools Premium Club member or corporate user, download or stream our "The Imposter Cure" Book Insight now.

If you haven't already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 390+ Book Insights. For corporate membership, ask for a demo with one of our team.

Have you experienced Imposter Syndrome? What are your strategies for overcoming it? Join the discussion below!

The post I No Longer Feel Like a Fraud – I'm Not an Imposter! appeared first on Mind Tools.

There was a time when employees wore their long hours of extra work as a badge of honor.

Working late or taking work home are still commonplace, but it used to be seen as a sign of dedication to take work on vacation, or skip your kid’s baseball game for an important client dinner.

In recent years, however, as the internet, social media, and work-from-home options have changed traditional working patterns, more organizations and employees recognize that the ability to switch off from work is vital for productivity and talent retention.

Put simply, employers who encourage their employees to rest and recharge – to switch off from work – have happier employees!

But how can we avoid the risk of burnout and learn how to keep work at work, and home at home?

We threw that question out to you, our friends and followers on social media. We asked, "What do you do to get in and out of 'work mode'?"

Stop Thinking About Work!

A common tactic was to divert your thoughts and attention to anything unconnected with your job.

For example, Facebook friend Crystal Black, from the U.S., said, "I take 10-20 minutes to sit in my car, reroute my trip home or some other low-stress diversion before engaging my family."

Mary Bond suggested taking off your watch and turning off data on your mobile phone. She said, "Both things represent for me that I'm in downtime."

Twitter follower @Ishieta said, "I take some time to do something absolutely different from every other task I do. I spend 15 mins with my watercolors or coloring pencils, or any coloring material, and a page from one of my coloring books. Music and a warm drink is optional."

For many of you, physical activity is a great way to switch off from work. Going to the gym, or enjoying a walk or run were all popular strategies, while others opt for dancing or yoga.

Our article, 11 Ways to Get More Exercise, outlines the many benefits of being active, and is packed with tips on how to build exercise into a busy schedule.

Writing on Linkedin, Dr Marloes Tijssen, an executive coach from Suffolk, U.K., suggested taking 30 minutes to reflect on the day and plan for tomorrow. She said, "That way, I know that tomorrow's work is in hand and I can stop thinking about what needs to be done."

The Challenges of Working From Home

As more and more people embrace work from home options, the challenges of such an arrangement quickly become obvious.

For example, Facebook friend and at-home employee Greg Schmierer, a financial planning and analysis manager from Rocklin, California, U.S., said, "There is always the temptation to continue to work beyond my standard work hours.

"So, with the help of my wife, in order to get out of work mode, I turn off all of my work devices and put them in my shoulder bag as if I was going into the office.

"This 'cleans' my desk of any possible work distractions. This way, I'm not tempted to leave my laptop or phone turned on."

How to Switch on Again

Just as important as switching off is being able to switch back on to work mode. If you habitually have a sluggish or disorganized start to your working day, you won't impress your superiors or your more focused colleagues.

Mind Tools senior editor Keith Jackson reckons that good organization and preparation is key to switching on quickly.

He said, "Thinking ahead helps me to 'get into the swing of things' after a period of downtime. For example, one of my last tasks of the day is to write a prioritized To-Do List that I can pick up first thing the next morning."

As a freelance writer who works from home a great deal, I have a number of go-to strategies for ensuring that I can get into a productive working mindset. These include:

Morning routines: I drink water and coffee, eat breakfast, do a little spiritual self-care, take the kids to school, exercise – once I've checked all of those things off my mental list, my brain knows, "Hey, it's time to work!"

Brain calisthenics: I'm more productive when I start my day with some creative writing. Like a musician's or athlete's warm-up routine, that burst of non-judgmental creativity helps to turn my brain on and prepare it for client work.

Organize my day: I have two routines for organizing my day. In the morning, I spend 15-20 minutes doing administrative work. Then, at the end of the day, I evaluate and prioritize the following day's tasks so that I don't have to think about it in the morning – I can just dive in.

Of course, there will be occasions when it's hard to switch off, when you're working on an important, complex project, for example. And there are times when it's more difficult to switch on, such as after a vacation. But, as we've seen above, there are strategies that you can adopt to manage both situations.

Thank you to everyone who contributed their top tips! You can still share your thoughts and ideas, below!

The post Home From Work: How to Switch off – Your Top Tips! appeared first on Mind Tools.

Speaking personally, I'm so competitive that it frightens my friends, my family, and even my colleagues. There's nothing I won't turn into a competition: "You've got a cold? I've got the flu! You've got the flu? I've got a terminal alien parasite!"

I once bet an unsuspecting co-worker at a Christmas party that I could eat more chili sauce than him. Needless to say, I won, but at the cost of spending the rest of the evening gulping water to cool my burning tongue.

I may be an extreme example, but I have found that my overwhelming urge to win is a great driving force at work. So, does a competitive personality actually help or hinder your career? After all, certain professions, such as sales, depend on healthy competition to maintain productivity. (You can explore this topic in more detail in our article, How to Manage Rivalry in the Workplace.)

Competition Isn't for Everyone

Some people's competitive urge is driven by either the intoxicating thrill of winning, or the mortifying fear of losing. But the upshot is that this can lead to higher performance and greater achievements.

But, while competition can fuel a creative and innovative fire in some, it can extinguish enthusiasm in others. For those who don’t feel the need to "win" all the time, competition can cause unnecessary anxiety and stress, and they may feel dominated by bigger, more competitive personalities.

What Makes You Competitive?

Ashley Merryman, award-winning writer and co-author of "Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing," asserts that there are two types of people: warriors and worriers.

Warriors are natural adrenaline-seekers, who rely on the stress of high-pressure environments or competition to get the "buzz" they need to perform at their best.

Worriers, on the other hand, get stressed at the thought of competition, and it can negatively impact their performance.

Warriors are therefore pretty much genetically wired to enjoy competition. And, as long as they have opportunities to challenge themselves, they will always be looking for their next big win.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

Winning is a great feeling. Plenty of people would "give their right arm" to be named Employee of the Year, and would use it as motivation to push themselves to be even better the following year. But, where there are winners, there will likely be losers.

And what if these "losers" already have low self-esteem? Missing out on rewards or recognition could damage their confidence even further. That's why a manager should ensure that every member of a team is valued, not just the star players.

And remember, no one likes a braggart, so don't rub your victories in your team members' faces!

Watch Out for Burnout

One problem with competitive people is that they can sometimes push themselves too hard. Once they taste success, they start to chase their next "high." In extreme cases, this can lead to unethical, or even illegal, behavior. But the more likely consequence is that they risk burnout.

They may not even notice that they are taking on too much until it's too late. Instead, competitive people should seek to challenge themselves within the responsibilities they already possess. For example, they could request training to use a new form of software, or to improve their industry knowledge.

The trick is to not rely on competition as your only form of motivation, but to think about how you can use it to your advantage – without alienating your colleagues.

Are you a competitive person at work? Or have you ever suffered from someone else's competitiveness? Share your experiences, below.

The post How Competitive Are You, and Does it Matter? appeared first on Mind Tools.