This connection was recognized by the entrepreneur and communications expert Morra Aarons-Mele and she explores it in her hit podcast, The Anxious Achiever. 

Anxiety’s Upside 

She has now written a book of that name, subtitled “Turn Your Biggest Fears Into Your Leadership Superpower.” When I spoke to Aarons-Mele for our latest Mind Tools Expert Interview, she explained how anxiety can be a double-edged sword. 

Here's an excerpt. (You can stream the audio clip below or read a transcript here.)

For the anxious among us, it’s nice to know there can be an upside to the uncomfortable symptoms we often feel: racing heart, churning stomach, aching brain.  

The trick is to “look our anxiety in the face and work with it,” Aarons-Mele says. Then we can harness the powerful drivers of those symptoms to produce our best work and reduce our discomfort. 

Freeing Yourself From Thought Traps

In her book, she shines a light on what causes anxiety in conscientious people, including negative self-talk, all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, and overthinking. In each case, she offers tips for escaping those thought traps. 

For example, if you can recognize that you’re catastrophizing, you can actively try to interrupt those thoughts with more rational ones.  

“I can literally try to replace the instantaneous thought of, ‘It’s all your fault. You suck. You’re getting fired,’ with, ‘Okay, maybe this wasn’t your best month. Let’s look at the data. Let’s try to just bring some more neutral information in. Let’s try to breathe. Even if you did get fired, let’s play out the worst-case scenario and see what would happen’,” she says. “That kind of interruption for me – and it’s evidence based – is really powerful.” 

Perfectionism Is Anxiety 

As a recovering perfectionist myself, I was interested that Aarons-Mele devotes a whole chapter to perfectionism. 

When I asked her why, she said that perfectionism is a common problem for anxious achievers, and it’s often misunderstood.  

“Perfectionism, I learned in my study, is not always being amazing and giving everything you’ve got and creating the most incredible product ever made. Perfectionism’s anxiety: it’s a sense that, ‘If I am not perfect, I’m not worth it’,” she told me. 

The Terrifying Typo 

On the face of it, the job of a writer and editor aligns positively with perfectionism. Being exceptionally careful about facts, grammar usage and spelling is the sweet spot of editorial work. In fact, the more perfectionist an editor is, the better – or so it always seemed to me. 

When I was editor-in-chief of a small weekly newspaper, I wore my perfectionism like a badge of honor. I invented processes for myself that demanded a lot of time and high levels of concentration. If I was editing an article, I’d never read it fewer than three times, proudly announcing to whoever would listen that I’d found something new to correct every time.  

But this extreme attention to detail wasn’t always helpful. I remember finding a typo in the small print of an advertising supplement freshly delivered from the printer. I was horrified. I picked up a pair of scissors and scratched at the misplaced letter until it was obliterated in a scruff of newsprint. Sleepless nights followed, punctuated by harebrained “solutions” like pulping the lot and reprinting a new, perfect batch of magazines.  

Remembering this incident now, I still feel mortified about the error, even though my rational mind reminds me that, as far as I know, no one noticed it. If they did, it had no consequences, which is more or less the same as no one noticing. 

Having heard Aarons-Mele’s take on this particular thought trap, I can see that my response to the typo was multifaceted. It was about producing the best product I could, but it was also about proving my own worth, to myself and other people. My motivation got tangled up, so that when I saw that tiny mistake in print, it registered with me as a total personal fail.  

Let’s Be Excellent 

Perfectionists need to stand back and give themselves an easier time of it, Aarons-Mele believes. We control the urge to be perfect, not the other way around. 

“If we can moderate [perfectionism] and get it out of our way, as one of my favorite interviews in the book – Dr Thomas Greenspan – says, ‘We’ll still be excellent, just without all the attending anxiety’,” she reflects.  

But anxious achievers, don’t worry! This isn’t about lowering our standards. It’s about accepting that life happens and mistakes can slip through. And that “excellent” is – truly – as worthy an outcome as “perfect.” 

Listen to the Full Story

You can listen to or read my full 30-minute interview with Morra Aarons-Mele if you're a Mind Tools member or if your employer is a Mind Tools for Business licensee.

If you're not already a member, join Mind Tools now to gain unlimited access to 2,400+ resources, including our back catalog of 200+ Expert Interviews. Or find out more about Mind Tools for whole organizations, big or small, by contacting our enterprise team.

Meanwhile, catch more excerpts and insights from my guests by searching our Expert Interview blog topic and by signing up free to the Mind Tools Expert Voices podcast.

The post Aim for Excellent, Not Perfect: My Expert Interview With Morra Aarons-Mele  appeared first on Mind Tools.

Author Amy Gallo has assessed this issue over many years and has published her findings and insights in a new book, “Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People).” 

It’s packed with tips for dealing with specific types of difficult personality. But it also takes a bird's-eye view of the complexity of workplace relationships, and the importance of looking after your own mental health as you navigate them. 

Hang On to Your Integrity

I spoke to Gallo for our Mind Tools Expert Interview, and she spoke about staying true to yourself as you deal with difficult people. 

Here's an excerpt. (You can stream the audio clip below or read a transcript here.)

Gallo’s book examines eight archetypes of difficult people: the insecure boss, the pessimist, the victim, the passive aggressive peer, the know-it-all, the tormentor, the biased co-worker, and the political operator.  

Most people will have worked with one or more of these archetypes. I certainly have. And after talking to Gallo, I realize that I could have handled those situations better. 

From Pessimist to "Disagreer-in-Chief"

For instance, I remember one pessimist I worked alongside in a busy radio newsroom, who became a figure of fun for the rest of us. We laughed at her constant whining, usually behind her back, and never took the time to listen properly to her concerns.  

If we had, we might have learned something. And she’d have felt like a valued member of the team and better able to do her best work. She might even have complained less. 

Gallo points out that if you’re able to look beyond their difficult behavior, pessimists can serve a useful purpose, because they may flag up serious problems that the rest of us can’t see.  

“You do want to hear those contrarian perspectives. You do want to hear someone who’s pointing out potential roadblocks or obstacles and what [might] happen,” she says.  

“We don’t want to let it dampen the mood of the team or the motivation of the team. We don’t want them to have more power than anyone else on the team. But, if we can sort of right-size their role and hear their perspective, I think it benefits everyone.” 

Gallo suggests that in some cases, pessimists could be given the role of “Disagreer-in-Chief,” charged with looking for the holes in plans or possible pitfalls ahead. That can lead to crucial conversations about mitigating the risks that they highlight. 

From Victim to Validation

As well as pessimists, I’ve worked with my share of victims, who can be a tiresome suck on energy. Unlike the complaints of the doom-monger pessimist, the victim’s moaning is always just about them, and of very little use to others. 

One “victim” writer I worked with – Kate – was convinced that her editor didn’t take her experience seriously. She acted like every edit was a personal slight, and went into an obvious sulk if major rewrites were requested. 

Part of Gallo’s advice for working well with victims is to encourage them to take responsibility for whatever is upsetting them. Ask them directly why they believe they’re not to blame – and importantly, listen to the answer. 

Kate left her job after a few painful months. If I reflect on that situation now, I can see that she may have had a point. She didn’t get on with the capricious editor-in-chief, who – yes, in retrospect – didn’t value Kate’s eclectic experience. He probably did give her a harder time than other writers on the team.  

If someone had listened at the time, Kate could have been assigned to a different editor. The rewrite requests might have continued, but coming from someone else, they might have felt like valuable feedback, rather than a personal insult. This small change would have saved a lot of time and hassle recruiting her replacement. 

Understanding Others' Perspectives

Dealing with other people is complicated. Emotions flare up, positions get entrenched. But it always helps to remember that the person with the difficult behavior might be right. And we might be wrong.  

Gallo says we should beware of “naïve realism”: when we think we’re seeing the truth, clear as day, but what we’re actually seeing is our own point of view. 

“There are many other ways to view the situation,” Gallo says. “There’s the way your colleague sees it. There’s the way people outside the dynamic see it, your boss sees it. And those will all be different perspectives and that’s okay.”  

After all, we don’t all need to agree on everything to get along. We just need to agree to get along.  

Listen to the Full Story

You can listen to or read my full 30-minute interview with Amy Gallo if you're a Mind Tools member or if your employer is a Mind Tools for Business licensee.

If you're not already a member, join Mind Tools now to gain unlimited access to 2,400+ resources, including our back catalog of 200+ Expert Interviews. Or find out more about Mind Tools for whole organizations, big or small, by contacting our enterprise team.

Meanwhile, catch more excerpts and insights from my guests by searching our Expert Interview blog topic and by signing up free to the Mind Tools Expert Voices podcast.

The post Collaborating With Challenging Colleagues: My Expert Interview With Amy Gallo appeared first on Mind Tools.

This is all about when you do your work, rather than where you do it. And it’s usually remote, but not always.

With a traditional synchronous model, you and your team will keep similar hours, meeting and working together in real time – maybe online, maybe face to face. With asynchronous work, people do their part whenever they want or need to. And rather than talking to colleagues, they find out what to do by tapping into systems and databases.

Does that sound appealing to you, or a little bit isolating? Well, according to Martin, it depends on how it’s done.

The Asynchronous Mindset

Martin recently shared his experiences and tips in a new book, co-written with his business partner Rob Rawson, called “Running Remote: Master the Lessons From the World’s Most Successful Remote-Work Pioneers.” And it's a Wall Street Journal and Publishers Weekly Bestseller.

When I talked to him for the latest Mind Tools Expert Interview, Martin explained the “asynch mindset,” based on “deliberate over-communication, democratized workflow, and detailed metrics."

Here's an excerpt. (You can stream the audio clip below or read a transcript here.)

My Experience of Asynchronous Working

As an independent journalist, I’ve spent many years working remotely and asynchronously, with mixed results.

When I was doing a master’s degree in the U.K., asynchronous work offered a financial lifeline. I was an associate editor for a New York-based magazine, and I edited articles while my editor slept, sending completed work in time for when he switched on in the morning. This situation suited all of us.

Earlier in my career, I was the Mexico correspondent of an American business magazine. Based in Mexico City, I worked alone, day after day, keeping in touch with my editor in Houston via email and occasionally text and phone.

I thrived on the autonomy this gave me, and loved coming up with new ideas for the magazine that I could run with, without anyone else weighing in. This kind of grassroots decision making is one of the positive features of asynchronous working, according to Martin.

But on the downside, it was sometimes difficult to motivate myself, and the days could drag. And if I needed a quick answer to something specific and unusual, which wasn’t in any policy or guidance document, well, “quick” was rarely an option. I had to wait until my editor came back online.

In-Person Communication Wins

Looking back on these experiences, I find the faces of my editors swimming into focus. Because we did meet up occasionally, and it is those face-to-face interactions that stand out most vividly when I think of those jobs.

Although a passionate advocate of asynchronous working, Martin agrees that synchronous communication remains an important piece of the remote-working puzzle. In fact, in his own hierarchy of communication, “in-person” comes top, and every year, his own company holds a face-to-face retreat for all its employees.

“We’ve recognized that synchronous time is so important to be able to, number one, build rapport between all of our different team members and trust, but also allow us to be able to really close the chapter on one year of the business and open up another chapter in the business,” he explains.

There are two reasons why they don’t do it more often: cost and efficiency. It’s expensive to get everyone in the same place, and it takes much longer to disseminate information in real time, rather than via a prepared document. Plus, with written information, you know that every recipient gets exactly the same message, and people can refer to it as often as they like.

Martin’s hierarchy of communication continues with voice and video calls, instant messaging, and finally email, as the foundation holding up the pyramid.

Be in Tune if Not in Synch

But however you communicate in asynchronous teams, perhaps what matters most is the attitude of team members.

I once worked with a graphic designer whose location changed from week to week. Over the course of one project, he moved from Spain to Mexico to Colombia.

The time zone changed, but his efficiency and excellent communication didn’t. The project ran smoothly, with great results. But I know that if he’d dropped the ball, even for one day, I would have railed against his digital nomad lifestyle!

Liam Martin’s model of remote asynchronous work relies on every member of the team being a hardworking self-starter, who will always read attachments to emails, no matter how long and dense they look, and will never feel sub-par or distracted or lonely.

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that working in isolation doesn’t suit everyone. So I can understand why managers continue with the synchronous model, despite the allure of its opposite. It may be slower and more costly, but it fits how humans behave. And while it’s still humans doing much of the work, that makes a lot of sense.

Listen to the Full Story

You can listen to or read my full 30-minute interview with Liam Martin if you're a Mind Tools Club member or if your employer is a Mind Tools for Business licensee.

Martin and Rawson's book carries a prominent endorsement by Cal Newport, another expert we've already featured on Mind Tools. Search his name at the top of this page, and you'll find our in-depth review of his book "Deep Work" and our exclusive Expert Interview with him.

If you're not already a member, join the Mind Tools Club now to gain unlimited access to 2,400+ resources, including our back catalog of 200+ Expert Interviews. Or find out more about Mind Tools for whole organizations, big or small, by contacting our enterprise team.

Meanwhile, catch more excerpts and insights from my guests by searching our Expert Interview blog topic and by signing up free to the Mind Tools Expert Voices podcast.

The post "If you trust your employees..." Liam Martin on Asynchronous Work appeared first on Mind Tools.

Only the other day I was on a busy train, with very few spare seats. One couple had a surprising amount of space, occupying a table for four, with their bags spread around them. I watched as passenger after passenger walked past that table, their eyes flicking away, rather than asking the pair to move their things.

And, this time, I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that the man had dwarfism. Could this really be why no one sat with them?

Disability in an Ableist World

Some ableism is systemic, like a lack of accessible infrastructure in schools, offices and transportation hubs. It can also be internalized.

We may talk over a neurodivergent colleague, mistaking a pause for the end of her point. Or avoid someone who looks different on a train, as I witnessed.

According to Ladau, this is about our perception of disability and disabled people – sometimes as superhuman, more commonly as subhuman. But we can change that.

Here’s what she told me, in our interview. (You can stream the audio clip below or download a transcript here.)

To explore these ideas, I’d recommend reading Emily Ladau’s book, "Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally." It’s a clear, nonjudgmental guide to helping make the world a more accessible and inclusive place.

The idea of "allyship" is central to this goal, but what does that really mean?

How (Not) to Be a Disability Ally

"We can very easily fall into the trap of looking at it as a title that we give ourselves," Ladau notes. "But… it’s really about taking meaningful action."

In fact, she suggests that we think of the word "ally" as a verb, not a noun, because it’s about doing things, not just talking about it. We should actively educate ourselves, with an open mind, and learn about experiences beyond our own.

Part of that is recognizing that every disabled person is an individual, with a host of different characteristics and support needs. Or, in Ladau’s words, "If you’ve met one disabled person, you’ve met one disabled person."

It's Not About You

If we don’t focus on the individual, we can make all sorts of wrong assumptions that can end up causing problems. We might think we’re being an ally by steering a blind person across a road, or pushing someone’s wheelchair up a slope. But if we’d just asked that person, we might have discovered they didn’t want that. And they may have needed something else. 

So the action allies take must be collaborative, not well-meaning gestures they impose on a person or group. As Ladau points out, doing something for disabled people and working with them are two very different things.  

"In one, you are essentially erasing the very person who you’re claiming to advocate for, whereas when you’re doing things side by side, what you’re doing is you’re amplifying the perspective of the person who you’re trying to be an ally to. And I think it’s essential to recognize that difference."

It’s a mindset shift that can only happen through open conversation. 

Disability Inclusion or Exclusion?

As someone who "navigates the world on wheels," as she puts it, Ladau has had a lifetime of dealing with ableism. I’m still thinking about a particular example from her book – it encapsulates a lot of the issues she’s working to change...

When Ladau was at college, a resident assistant in her dorm was running a disability awareness event. Did this person invite Ladau along to talk with participants about her life on wheels? No. Instead, they asked to borrow Ladau’s wheelchair, so that participants could use it to go around an obstacle course they’d set up in the lounge. 

What was Ladau supposed to do while her expensive mobility equipment – her only means of getting about – was being used like a toy? She declined the request, saddened by this missed opportunity to engage with and educate nondisabled people about her experiences, herself. 

“I remember feeling like less of a person in that moment,” Ladau writes.

Ableism makes people feel like that, as well as causing numerous practical and logistical problems for disabled people as they go about their day-to-day lives. Allies can help change that, person by person, moment by moment. 

Beyond the Infrastructure 

In the workplace, managers can be allies by “creating an environment where people feel safe and welcome to show up as their whole selves at work and to be open about their disability experiences... giving people the space to speak up for what they need to thrive.”

But Ladau concludes, "I want people to understand that allyship is very much a journey and not a destination. 

"You can listen to a podcast episode, you can read an article, you can watch a documentary, you can attend a webinar or have a conversation with a disabled person. But that doesn’t mean that you stop there.  

"My best advice is to keep learning, to keep going, to seek out new resources and new ways to learn and new ways to engage."

The Full Story

You can listen to my full 30-minute interview with Emily Ladau if you're a Mind Tools Club member, or a Mind Tools for Business licensee. You'll hear about her time on iconic children's TV show "Sesame Street" and how being disabled cuts across all other identities. As ever, the audio comes with a full transcript.

If you're not already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club now to gain unlimited access to 2,400+ resources, including our back catalog of 200+ Expert Interviews. Or find out more about Mind Tools for whole organizations, big or small, by contacting our enterprise team.

Meanwhile, catch more excerpts and insights from my guests by searching the Expert Interview blog topic and by signing up to the new Mind Tools Expert Voices podcast.

The post "I'm Not More or Less: I Just Am" – Emily Ladau on Disability appeared first on Mind Tools.

Hoque realized that the disruption caused by COVID-19 was one of four huge changes we’re experiencing at the moment, the others being climate change, technological advances, and misinformation. To navigate these choppy waters, he advocates transformational leadership, combined with systemic thinking and experiential learning.

When I spoke to Hoque for the latest Mind Tools Expert Interview, he explained that his theories stretch back to his childhood in Bangladesh, a country where drought and flooding often threaten the lives of millions.

He grew up adapting to constant change, a skill that helped him thrive despite a series of personal setbacks in later life, and that he has successfully translated to the world of work through his writing and consultancy.

Transformation Through Experience

Transformational leaders are driven “by empathy, inspiration and influence,” Hoque says. And in this clip from our conversation, he shows how experiential learning and transformational leadership are linked.

(There’s lots more about transformational leadership on Mind Tools, including its history, and advice on how to become a transformational leader.)

Command and Control Is Dead

Hoque points out that this type of leader stands in stark contrast to the “transactional” leaders more common in the past, who are “all about the bottom line” and drive “maximum return with minimal investments.”

This sounds like the owner of a business magazine I worked for in New York – a man named Arthur. He led our small team from the top down, literally! He worked in a top-floor office and never showed his face in editorial, two floors below.

Although we only knew him from photos, we had to comply with his frequent diktats. For example, all women had to wear skirts and "feminine" shoes, and there was a minimum number of hours we had to spend at our desks, regardless of our workloads.

Unsurprisingly, morale was low and mutiny was simmering. And staff turnover was high, which added to stress levels. Whenever someone quit, other people were lumbered with their work, or were sidetracked by the search for their replacement.

If he’d noticed these negatives, Arthur would likely have doubled down on his command-and-control approach.

Empathy Plus Process Wins

People often think leadership comes in mutually exclusive shades. You can either be firm and process-driven, or open and empathetic. Being both doesn’t seem viable.

But for Hoque, transformational leadership can work hand-in-hand with a rigorous business-centric mindset. In fact, each one enhances the other.

“If you think about transformational leadership, it’s kind of your cultural element and your guiding post to get people rallied behind you,” he says. “Then you have to give people the exact path… a combination of process, tracking and management, matrix and measurement that makes sure that things are actually getting done.”

This approach was modeled brilliantly by a radio news editor I had early in my career, a woman called Juliet. Unlike Arthur, she didn’t give a hoot what we wore, as long as it fitted our assignments for that day.

She sat in the newsroom with us, writing news items and broadcasting bulletins. Despite being busy, she always made time to answer the many questions from her keen yet inexperienced team – with proper focus and engagement.

I remember one morning, I arrived for the early shift at 5 a.m. and a huge news story had broken in our patch overnight. I was alone in the newsroom and I didn’t know what to do. So I rang Juliet at home.

Calmly, she listened to the police report I’d picked up, and then coached me toward the best way to cover the story.

Empowered by her input, I verified the facts, tracked down a witness, recorded an interview, and wrote up the story, with audio clips. It led the morning bulletins – and we were way ahead of the local competition.

Approachable Leadership Transforms

Looking back, what impresses me is not just Juliet’s sound and helpful response. It’s that she was available to talk at 5 a.m. – and that I felt I could wake her up for advice.

She’d created a well-run, professional environment where people outperformed expectations, and she’d done it with empathy and understanding, so that people felt safe to ask for help.

Leaders in other industries may never be woken at dawn by a rookie colleague. But being truly available to team members during office hours could make a big difference to the success of the organization, especially now. Turbulent times call for calm, thoughtful leadership.

“It’s that conscious practice of empathy, to listen and to understand where people are coming from, and as a result, designing your work environment and your way forward,” Hoque says. “[That] becomes monumental if you want to succeed.”

Get the Full Interview – and Many More!

Mind Tools Club members and Mind Tools for Business licensees can listen to my full 30-minute interview with Faisal Hoque. It comes with a complete transcript for ease of review and accessibility.

If you're not already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club now to gain unlimited access to 2,400+ resources, including our back catalog of 200+ audio Expert Interviews. And to find out more about Mind Tools' enterprise solutions, you can book a demo with one of our team.

Meanwhile, you can read and hear more, for free, by searching the Expert Interview blog topic and by signing up to the new Mind Tools Expert Voices podcast.

Your Opinion on Transformational Leadership

How do you lead and manage in turbulent times? What style of leadership does your organization enable and encourage, and what's the impact? Share your experiences and tips in the Comments, below!

The post Faisal Hoque on Transformational Leadership: Expert Interview appeared first on Mind Tools.

She thought she'd turned it on, and when she accidentally touched the metal, she expected to get burned. To her brain, that expectation mattered more than the fact that there was no heat at all.

This is an example of the "nocebo" effect, when a negative expectation delivers a negative result. It's the opposite of the placebo effect, when belief in a positive outcome creates a positive outcome.

Getting What You Expect

The science writer David Robson has been exploring how these phenomena can help us in all sorts of ways.

He's recently brought his research together in a fascinating new book, "The Expectation Effect: How Your Mindset Can Transform Your Life," which I discussed with him in our Expert Interview podcast.

In this audio clip, David outlines the history and science behind the placebo effect, which first emerged in the world of medicine.

Robson's research shows that "expectation effects" – where expectation has a measurable and significant impact on effect – can happen in all areas of life.

"When we're doing exercise, when we're dieting... [expectation] can affect our sleep and how we deal with sleep loss, how we respond to stress – all of these things can be shaped by our expectations with really profound results," he says.

Don't Stress About Stress!

In Robson's book, there's a whole chapter on "de-stressing stress," where I was surprised to read that worrying about being anxious, which feels so modern, actually stretches back more than 100 years. Foreshadowing Bobby McFerrin's hit song urging us to "be happy," some people in the 19th century established Don't Worry Clubs. These were intended to combat unnecessary stress and generate the happiness that members believed was essential for good health.

"There was always this idea that stress and anxiety, however we experience them, are inherently bad for us... and what the recent research says is that's not necessarily true," David Robson says. "It actually depends on your attitudes and beliefs about stress and anxiety [as to] whether they harm you or whether they might actually sometimes be quite useful sources of energy."

Specifically, we can harness the "adaptive value of anxious feelings" – and then tap into their potential advantages.

Make Your Anxiety Work for You

"One of these advantages is when your heart is beating really quickly, it's pumping lots of blood to your brain," Robson explains. "It's carrying oxygen and glucose to your brain cells, which will sharpen your thinking. Similarly, even the stress hormones like cortisol can actually help to improve your mental acuity."

So rather than being worried about being worried, creating a downward spiral of negativity, we can reframe anxiety as helpful – with surprising results.

"When you shift [into] that mindset… what happens is that people do actually start to use the anxiety as a source of energy," Robson says. "And that can be seen in things like their performance on exams, their performance at public speaking."

Robson tells me that he uses this technique himself, and to good effect. He used to be more of a worrier.

"It's just so much easier for me to reconfigure my thoughts in that way, to just feel the feelings and to acknowledge them and to not try to deny them. But to also just recognize that they could be useful to me," he shares.

Don't Worry, Be Happy?

That debunks "don't worry." What about "be happy"? Robson has some thoughts.

He argues that the relentless pursuit of happiness creates "a negative expectation effect." If we labor under the belief that we should always try to be happy, when we feel anger, disappointment or frustration, we experience a sense of failure and even shame. It's another downward spiral.

His advice is to recast those negative emotions as useful messengers of something important.

Take feeling disappointment, for example. "Disappointment is really horrible to experience, but actually it's helping to tell you that the goal that you were trying to achieve really mattered, and that maybe you can learn something from your failure," David Robson suggests.

So just as with anxiety, we should sit with unexpected unhappiness, however uncomfortable, and think about how it might be beneficial.

"What the research shows is that people who do that, who have a more accepting attitude to negative feelings and who see meaning in their negative feelings, they actually show a lot better kind of mental health and physical health," Robson says.

It's refreshing to think that both stress and unhappiness can be good for the mind and body – if we change the way we deal with them, and change our expectations around them. It might not prevent us from burning ourselves on a cold oven, but it could make a positive difference to our mood and productivity in our everyday lives.

Listen to My Interview With David Robson

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with my series of Mind Tools Expert Interviews.

If you're not a Mind Tools Club member, you can join here, and access over 2,400 resources, including more than 200 Expert Interviews. For enterprise licensing, request a demo from one of our team.

The post David Robson's Expectation Effect: My Expert Interview appeared first on Mind Tools.

Psychological safety gives people the confidence to express their thoughts and admit mistakes, knowing that they won't be shot down. But, in order to be successful, it also requires strong discipline and clear boundaries.

What Is Psychological Safety?

Amy Edmondson (pictured above) has studied psychological safety for more than 20 years, and has collected her findings into dozens of articles and books, including "Extreme Teaming," and "The Fearless Organization."

In my Expert Interview podcast, she explains to me: "It's about being candid. And that means sometimes we'll have to say things to each other that could feel harsh or could feel not nice."

And that's not all. "It's also not a license to whine, or an invitation to sit back and just start saying everything that doesn't work – and it's most certainly not an invitation to relax, to lower the performance expectations," she continues.

"It's really just trying to recognize, and put a name on, the fact that if we aren't open and candid and willing to take interpersonal risks, our organizations will face much bigger risks."

In this clip from my Expert Interview podcast, she explains how, in a medical environment, psychological safety can be a matter of life and death.

More broadly, Edmondson argues that psychological safety is crucial for a successful work environment in any sector.

Psychological Safety for Learning, Innovation and Growth

And this is why psychological safety is so important. Increasingly, organizations need their people to be creative and knowledgeable, so that they can compete well in today's complex markets. That means nurturing an environment where people feel like their voices matter and dynamic conversations can flourish.

According to Edmondson, you create that environment by inviting participation and neutralizing fear. Leaders need to tease out ideas and contributions from all team members. Even if they aren't immediately useful, they might spark a conversation that leads to innovative ideas down the road.

Likewise, if something has gone wrong, people need to feel safe enough to raise it. That way you can deal with it quickly and minimize any damage.

But this freedom can only work if there are clear rules. This is where the boundaries come in.

Boundaries Bring Psychological Safety

"It's almost paradoxical," she says. "If people behave in ways that bully, if they yell at a colleague, if they belittle, if they harass, any of those things that are truly unacceptable behaviors at work, if those go unpunished or unacknowledged, ironically, you've made the workplace less safe, not more."

This applies to failure too.

While she strongly promotes the idea that failure should be discussed (and learned from, where possible), Edmondson believes that failures caused by "blameworthy actions" should be condemned, with the perpetrators sanctioned and even fired if certain rules are breached.

Boundaries need to be clear and unambiguous. Edmondson gives the example of a team member who believes their boss only wants to hear good news. It's not true, but it's what they think and so they self-censor, "artificially setting the boundary far tighter than it needs to be."

Whereas if their boss had been clear about their boundaries – they're very happy to hear bad news, but prefer it to come with solutions – the team would function better.

Psychological Safety Enables Excellence

Edmondson points out that the responsibility for psychological safety rests mainly with managers.

They need to tell people what is and is not acceptable, and should invite everyone to speak up – "be proactive in inquiry," as she puts it. Then they must listen properly, and respond in such a way that inflates rather than deflates motivation and productivity.

Ultimately, though, psychological safety is not the end goal, "even for me," Edmondson reflects. Rather, "it's a means to an end: the goal is excellence."

"The goal is to have people feel great about what they do and to accomplish important work for their constituents. I'm just making the argument that that's darn hard to do if they don't have an environment of psychological safety."

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The post Why Psychological Safety Matters: My Expert Interview With Amy Edmondson appeared first on Mind Tools.

In one of my first jobs, the boss was a bully. She favored those who sucked up to her, and she shouted mercilessly at those who didn't. It was hell.

Later in my career, when I was a reporter for an international newswire, we all had to sit at our desks for 10 hours a day, regardless of whether or not we had work to do. It was demoralizing and surprisingly draining. No one felt happy or well.

A Healthier Workplace

So it was interesting to drill down into the reasons – and remedies – for such unhealthy workplaces with Sir Cary Cooper, Professor of Organizational Psychology and Health at Manchester Business School in the U.K.

He's spent years studying health in the workplace – and how to improve it. And he's recently brought his ideas and experience together in a new book, "The Healthy Workforce: Enhancing Wellbeing and Productivity in the Workers of the Future," co-written with Stephen Bevan of the Institute for Employment Studies.

More Than Pilates and Beanbags

As part of the growing recognition that wellbeing is a key component of growth and stability, in recent years a lot of employers have started offering their people perks, like free Pilates lessons and fruit smoothies.

But according to Cary Cooper, while "it's nice to have sushi at your desk, and massages," it isn't nearly as important as having a carefully designed wellbeing strategy, driven from the top – often by a dedicated director of health and wellbeing.

Ideally, these people will conduct regular "wellbeing audits," to determine the mental and physical health of the workforce. This research helps them to develop their strategy, including interventions to target the problems that have emerged. The success of the strategy is then measured through further wellbeing audits, and tweaked accordingly.

Wellbeing Audits

The first step in the audit is to ask employees how they feel and why, through surveys and psychometric tools. After all, if you don't ask, how can you know?

"In a sense, it's like going to a GP, or internist in the U.S.," Cooper says. "You don't want that person to be writing out a prescription for you before you've opened your mouth. What you want is that person to take bloods, to take your blood pressure, in other words to do a diagnostic to find out about you. Well, the same thing applies in the whole area of employee health and wellbeing."

Thinking back to my newswire job, a wellbeing audit like this would have revealed some serious problems, but they may have been easy to fix. For instance, the bureau chief was a talented, driven individual who was always chasing the next story. But the rest of us needed a manager to support us, not a star reporter.

The Importance of Management

Managers are pivotal to good workplace health, because they're on the ground, watching and listening for signs that something might be off. But they need great soft skills to be effective. And like my former boss, many simply don't have them.

"In many developed countries, you find that people get promoted and recruited based on their technical skills, not their people skills," Cooper points out. "It's not their fault, in a way, because they were hired because they're really good accountants or good marketing people. But when it comes to actually managing, you get into a managerial role… you have issues."

This skills gap is the kind of thing a wellbeing audit can identify. Managers deemed to be lacking can be offered training in the social skills and emotional intelligence (EQ) needed to support people effectively in the changing world of work.

We're Not All Born Managers

Cary Cooper reckons that about 30 percent of technically proficient people are also adept at these soft skills. Around 50 percent could become great managers with the right training. But some managers – maybe 20 percent – won't benefit from training at all.

"That's the reality of life," Cooper says, and senior leaders need to recognize this and move these people out of line management. Only then will organizations build and maintain a healthy work culture, where people love coming to work, feel valued, and are motivated.

"It's about the hours of work, whether people have manageable workloads, realistic deadlines, have a clear idea of what their job is about, they're not contacted by email at weekends and while they're on holiday," Cooper elaborates.

"The organization has to look at what it can do to make people feel valued, trusted, that they feel they're cared about, that the organization is committed to their health and wellbeing."

This starts with hiring and developing managers with people skills, regardless of their technical prowess.

Listen to My Interview With Cary Cooper

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with my series of Mind Tools Expert Interviews.

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Download "The Healthy Workforce" With Mind Tools

Head over to the Mind Tools store, where you can also get a downloadable eBook of Cary Cooper's "The Healthy Workforce: Enhancing Wellbeing and Productivity in the Workers of the Future," co-written with Stephen Bevan.

Would you consider your workplace "healthy"? What do you think are the most important factors affecting working health? Let us know in the comments section below!

The post Rethinking Health at Work: My Expert Interview With Sir Cary Cooper appeared first on Mind Tools.

Now the authors, Ella Bell Smith (above, right) and Stella M. Nkomo (left), both African American women, have reissued their book to encourage leaders to keep talking about race and gender, and about what needs to change for barriers to lift.

Where Are the Women?

Since their book's publication over 20 years ago, the situation has barely changed. Talented women of all backgrounds are still facing challenges in career advancement, and organizations are missing out on their contributions as a result.

The authors identify several reasons why progress has been so slow, particularly for women of color.

There are the check-box diversity programs that fizzle out when allocated funds dry up. There's a lack of training and development opportunities for under-represented groups, and not enough sponsorship. And there's the constant need for Black women to "prove themselves three times more," as Bell Smith puts it, which can simply wear them out.

To really make a difference, they recommend a radical change of strategy in most organizations, including a rethink of the term "inclusion."

Redefining Inclusion

"'Inclusion' means people coming in who are different, whether they're Black, white, gay, lesbian, another gender, they are expected to assimilate into pre-existing structures," Nkomo points out in our recent interview. "[But] if you're simply just going to fill that seat and not do anything differently, well, I think that's problematic."

Indeed, she brands such assimilation as "dangerous," because it reinforces an imperfect status quo.

Instead, leaders should "think about transforming the structures and the barriers, and really looking at doing a diagnosis." They should ask themselves: what’s helping only certain people rise to the top? Are we willing to change those structures?

A Surprising Discovery

I ran into similar questions many years ago, when I was appointed editor-in-chief of a small weekly newspaper. On my first day in the job, I received the computer of my predecessor, who had cleaned out his email inbox, but not his sent mail. Perhaps I should have done it for him, but it didn't seem right to delete someone else's messages. So I casually scrolled down the sent emails, wondering what to do.

That's how I stumbled on some surprising correspondence. It dated from a few months before I joined the newspaper, when the three white male owners and the white male former editor were deciding who to hire for the editor-in-chief position – me or the other short-listed candidate, a white man I'll call Peter.

It turned out that Peter was bad news. Fascinated, I read the references from his former employers. Without exception, they warned against hiring him, with phrases such as, "I've never written a bad reference before, but I feel compelled to tell you that Peter is lazy and untrustworthy."

Interspersed with these were glowing reports of my own previous work, from my referees.

Motivated by Bias

As this picture solidified, the emails between the owners became increasingly desperate. They began expressing reasons not to hire me, foremost of which was my lack of management experience.

Except I had plenty. My résumé showed several years of successfully managing teams. We'd even discussed it in my interviews, and my referees confirmed it. Why did they not see what was right in front of them?

After the third poor reference for Peter arrived, one owner wrote to the others: "But this doesn't mean we can't hire him, does it?"

In fact, it did mean that, and I got the job – at the time completely unaware that I was not the first pick.

The owners' reactions were so illogical that they seem to have been motivated by bias, or even discrimination – perhaps based on my gender, or maybe on how I spoke. I'm British, they were American. Peter, on the other hand, looked and sounded just like them. This must have felt reassuring, like he would be the best fit.

Breaking the Frame

Nkomo and Bell Smith urge leaders to "break the frame" and make decisions based on analysis, not instinct. Leaders should examine their motives, recognize bias, and try to push through discomfort to "include everyone, no matter who they are." And, throughout, the focus should always be on the "talent that they can bring."

This may not be easy or comfortable, but it's worth the effort, the authors say, for the positive difference it can make to organizations and their people.

Listen to My Interview With Ella Bell Smith and Stella M. Nkomo

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with my series of Mind Tools Expert Interviews.

If you're not a Mind Tools Club member, you can join here, and access over 2,400 resources, including more than 200 Expert Interviews. For corporate licensing, request a demo from one of our team.

The post Redefining Inclusion: My Expert Interview With Ella Bell Smith and Stella M. Nkomo appeared first on Mind Tools.

Over the years, I interviewed Clark for several articles. I even engaged her as a marketing and communications consultant to coach me on developing a successful pitch for a client. These events have given me a chance to watch how she works: she is highly responsive, with a laser focus on the right opportunities.

Clark is a modern-day Renaissance woman, continually re-inventing herself. She even wrote the book on self-reinvention: "Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Imagine Your Future."

Now, reviewing her latest book, I experience the same Dorie Clark trademark: independence, optimism and resilience. It rubs off on you as the reader.

Dorie Clark on Long-Term Thinking in a Short-Term World

Are you rushing from one commitment to another, perennially behind, without carving out time to reflect on the kind of life you want to live? Are you optimizing how you spend your time for the achievement of your long-term goals? Do you even have long-term goals?

If this describes your own experience, it may be time to put your foot on the brake to reflect, strategize and prepare to move forward. That's where "The Long Game: How to Be a Long-Term Thinker in a Short-Term World" by Dorie Clark comes into play.

Think of this insightful book as an indispensable guide for examining your career or business with new eyes, and projecting yourself to the future by developing a long-term action plan to achieve lasting success and create the interesting, purposeful lives we all want.

My First Reaction to "The Long Game"

When Clark approached me earlier this year to write a review for her new book, I was surprised by the title's central thesis of focusing on the long term. How can we possibly make any long-term decisions about our life and career in these times of great uncertainty? She answers that very question in her book.

According to Clark, long-term thinking is more relevant than ever now. We need to realize that we cannot live our lives in a constant state of passivity, letting the turbulent tide of uncertainty take us wherever it will. Instead of playing defense, we need to be alert, to keep some of our attention on opportunities that emerge to help us through and beyond the current crisis.

Here's the key. Strategic long-term thinking offers an alternative to unproductive worry. It protects us during setbacks of all kinds because it propels us to move toward our most important goals. So, link your reflections about your short-term worries to decision making and actions.

And Clark's life is a testament to that. During the worst of the COVID crisis, she stayed nimble and adapted when the circumstances changed. For example, she ratcheted her focus on projects and relationships she'd been developing over several years, wrote scripts, filmed courses, and relaunched one of her online offerings.

5 Insights From Dorie Clark

"The Long Game" is a master class in becoming a long-term thinker. I'll focus on five key insights:

1. Optimize for Interesting

Why are you doing what you're doing? It has always struck me as an essential question. Are we optimizing our life for money? For our passions? Whatever it is, we need to admit this and use it as a compass and optimize how we spend our time around it.

But what if we don't know our passions?

According to Clark, while you're figuring out what feels "meaningful," optimize for something "interesting." That's something that sparks your curiosity. In turn, that curiosity spurs you toward mastery in areas you'd like to explore that may, ultimately, lead in "meaningful" directions.

Again, this is something I have experienced personally. While meandering in areas that seemed interesting but not readily apparent as meaningful, I made professional connections that flung doors wide open for me.

Few of us can afford to quit our day jobs to immerse ourselves in whatever we want. But over time, with small strategic steps, optimizing for "interesting" allows you to engage in something pleasurable. This is not only good in itself, but also enables you to gather more information and increase your skills because you're motivated to do the work.

If you're not a Mind Tools Club member yet, sign up today and access thousands of career-boosting resources, which will help you to apply many of Dorie and Bruna's insights.

2. Develop Strategic Patience

You can work hard on all the right things and have nothing to show for it, but you must persevere.

Such a lonely journey is arduous. Still, Clark reassures us: once we get past this frustrating phase, the growth is exponential. And hers is no empty optimism, but one based on extensive coaching experience of professionals in many sectors.

For example, you need to have the strategic patience to continue to build up your reputation as a recognized expert in your niche. That's when a critical mass of people knows your name and is familiar with you and your work.

Indeed, this has been my experience as well. For years, I wanted to develop a reputation as a writer. Did it happen right away? No. I started contributing many articles for free to a leadership-development company and other forums. As Clark puts it, I was acting on faith alone.

Eventually, my name was recognized, and I became a paid contributor to several prestigious establishments, and even published two books.

The time and patience to get to that stage create a compounding force that helps you succeed.

3. Create Space for Thinking

In graphic design, "white space" puts the text and images on a page into relief, helping us focus our visual attention on what's important. Have you ever pondered the concept of white space in your professional and personal life?

In "The Long Game," Clark applies the white space metaphor to the lives that many talented professionals lead. This practical book is an invitation to stop for a moment and ask yourself if you're trapped in a short-term mindset – and, like a hamster in a wheel, working hard but getting nowhere.

How do you exit the rat maze? "If we're going to make smart choices about how to spend our time and energy," writes Clark, "we need to give ourselves some white space." That is, we need to clear the decks first and stop living on autopilot, saying "yes" to one commitment after another. Only then can we examine what a successful life means to us and start adopting a long-term view to make it happen.

4. Carve Out Time for Opportunities

Another metaphor Clark uses in the book that I like is "heartbeat income," a term inspired by Jonathan Brill, an innovation strategist Clark interviewed.

Heartbeat income is about structuring one's career portfolio to balance risk with the security we need for life's necessities. Once you've reached the minimum standard of living that you need, you can afford to invest 20 percent of your time in what is a little riskier and can yield high dividends for your career.

Like buying a bond, we know we're not going to become billionaires, but we won't go bankrupt either.

5. Think in Waves

My final insight is a strategy to help us make intelligent choices about where to allocate our time and attention. It's what Clark calls "thinking in waves." She outlines four career waves we need to surf to become a recognized expert in our field of choice:

1. Learning: study to become knowledgeable in your field.
2. Creating: become an anthropologist of knowledge by sharing what you've learned.
3. Connecting: build relationships with others in your communities.
4. Reaping: enjoy the benefits of your hard work in getting to this stage!

We need to think in waves because we can't engage in every aspect at once; we need to strategically choose when to go all in and when to recede and shift our focus to another area. Think of it as the back-and-forth, gracious and sinuous movement of a wave. It has peaks and valleys.

My Final Word on Dorie Clark's Book

What can you do to enhance your life in the next few years?

We all know changes don't happen overnight, but we can all take small, decisive steps now that can lead to a more fulfilling life later. But this won't happen if we don't lift our heads to look around us and ask ourselves what we need to do to make our life easier down the line.

If you're willing to bet on yourself and do the work, you will be well on your way to thinking and acting for the long term. Perhaps the work starts with reading "The Long Game."

________

Bruna Martinuzzi is an experienced coach, presenter and trainer living in Canada. She's the author of "The Leader as Mensch," excerpts of which are available to read in the Mind Tools toolkit. She's also the author of several Mind Tools blogs.

Mind Tools Club members and enterprise licensees can hear a 30-minute interview with Dorie Clark and read the transcript, here:

And remember, if you're not a Club member yet, sign up by January 6, 2022, and get a free copy of the Mind Tools Life Plan workbook, too.

The post Dorie Clark's "The Long Game" – Wise Optimism From an Expert Friend appeared first on Mind Tools.