Speaking from personal experience, it's a tricky question to answer. I've had great leaders. Ones that have inspired me, guided me, and from whom I've learned a great deal. They're the ones that listened to me, that I knew I could go to with any question or any problem, and they'd do their utmost to support me in my work and my life.

But, I've also had my fair share of not-so-great leaders. The ones that simply didn't really care about me. The ones that forgot my name all the time. They never listened. They were often entirely absent, particularly when I needed them the most. Or, they were always there... the micromanagers. They'd look at everything with an overly critical eye. And while that's not always necessarily a bad thing, it was often the way they delivered their criticisms that stung. Sometimes they could just be plain mean about it. And instead of motivating me, they often did the opposite to the point that work became a pretty bad place to be.

What Is Leadership?

Traditionally, leadership was seen as hierarchical. You had the leader, right at the top... hero-like in the respect and worship they felt was expected from us underlings at the bottom... but also, untouchable and unknowable.

Luckily, in most organizations, ideas around leadership have changed since then. Nowadays, leaders are very much seen as people-centric. They want to work in the best interests of their people, their customers and their stakeholders.

In the first in our new series of videos, we ask What Is Leadership? And explore the four fundamentals of good leadership – as well as some of the key things leaders should avoid.

The Leader as Influencer

Influencing is one of the key characteristics that great leaders demonstrate. This doesn't mean "pushing" people to do things. Instead, it's about encouraging and motivating people to buy into a vision that they want to work toward achieving.

But with influence comes power. And leaders need to understand that they must wield the power that they have in a positive way. Because, if they don't, just like in a game of dominoes, things can end up collapsing around them very quickly.

In the second of our leadership videos, Dunham and Pierce's Leadership Model, we explore how the leader, their followers, and the context (in other words, the workplace and culture) are all interconnected. And how negative interactions between these three can lead to failed outcomes – or, alternatively, how positive interactions can lead to success!

Looking After Your People

When I was young, we used to play a game called "follow the leader." Perhaps you played it too. Essentially, the leader of the gang would stick out their leg, all their followers would do the same. They might pull a funny face, and everyone else would mimic it back, laughing. But, soon the game would get boring, we'd all go off, and the leader, well without any followers, who did they have left to lead?

People are what make leaders. So, if you don't look after your people, or motivate them properly, you'll soon find yourself isolated and alone. Perhaps no longer a leader.

In the final video of our series on leadership, we explore how leaders can look after their people using a model known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. In it, we explore the five different needs that people have, and how leaders can satisfy them to help their followers stay motivated, happy and productive.

The post What Makes a Good Leader? appeared first on Mind Tools.

This year, in my role on Mind Tools' marketing team, we’ve been talking a lot about how "human skills," more commonly known as soft skills, support individuals to get ahead in the workplace. And how those human skills might look different in today's reimagined workplace.

Get a Head Start on 2023

So, without further ado, here's a rundown of the five standout human skills that employers are looking for in 2023!

1. Cognitive Flexibility

When planning this blog, I wanted to hear directly from the people I work with, to better understand what human skills have been most useful to them over the last year. My colleague Natalie pointed out that adaptability has been crucial:

"If we've learned anything over the past few years it's that change is inevitable. So, whether you're adopting new technologies, experiencing changes to your role, company, or to your working environment, you have to be able to adapt quickly and efficiently."

That's exactly what cognitive flexibility is all about: the ability to think differently when required and be open to change. What's more, someone with high cognitive flexibility will find it easier to manage multiple projects, and switch quickly from one topic to another – an invaluable skill in fast-paced workplaces or time-pressured meetings.

2. Growth Mindset

At Mind Tools, one of our own company values is that of "curiosity": listening, learning, and challenging the status quo. When you adopt a growth mindset, you're granting yourself the opportunity to develop. It means that you see the value of learning, taking on challenges and venturing into the unknown.

It's also the ability to recognize that while you might not understand a task in front of you at the start of the process, by choosing to tackle it, you will come out the other side stronger and more knowledgeable. On the flip side, those with a fixed mindset are more likely to doubt themselves and may struggle to move their career forward.

In her book, 'Mindset', psychologist Carol Dweck theorized how adopting a growth mindset can ultimately lead to greater success and increased self-confidence.

3. Personal Brand

Let’s be truthful, folks. The workplace can be a hectic and noisy place, making it hard to get noticed. Add virtual working to the mix and the opportunities to "shine" are not as obvious as they once were. It's now more important than ever to develop an authentic personal brand that will get you noticed for the right reasons.

What's more, we’re seeing increased numbers of Gen Z taking on executive and senior roles at work. This generation is made up of digital natives who have spent their lives crafting their personal brands on social media and are now well-equipped to translate these to the workplace. So, it's vital that you can keep up.

A great place to start with your personal brand is with these six steps:

• Understand yourself
• Find your niche
• Improve your credibility
• Identify your audience
• Build your brand online
• Practice what you preach

Take a look at our Personal Branding Infographic to find out more about personal brands and how they can help you get ahead in the new year.

4. Critical Thinking

If you demonstrate critical thinking, you'll develop a reputation for being challenging – in a positive way! Critical thinking is all about using experience, observation and logic to guide your decisions and beliefs. This isn't always easy, and in the workplace, it requires being able to distance yourself from your emotional or gut reactions.

Ultimately, however, if your decisions are informed by evidence and rationality, you will always be able to back up your reasoning and get other people on board with your ideas – a key leadership quality in 2023.

5. Communication

We've been hearing about how valuable communication skills are since the dawn of time. Nothing new there. But as the lines between personal and professional lives become increasingly blurred, an employee in 2023 may need to retune their communication skills. For example, remote conversations can look different to those that take place in person. New starters may have even had their entire interview and onboarding process run virtually!

Active listening is a valuable skill to develop to ensure that the conversations you do have with your colleagues, whether in person or online, are meaningful. By making a conscious effort to hear not only the words that are being said, but also the message, you can respond sensitively and provide feedback that resonates with the speaker.

With 2023 likely holding the crown as the most distraction-heavy year to date, it's also important to be present in meetings. Arriving prepared, being sure to ask questions at the right time, and feeding back to contributors are all great ways to build a sense of connection in meetings, whether they're virtual or not.

2023, Here We Come!

Hopefully, this article has inspired you to think about what skills you'd like to develop in 2023, and how they might be helpful in your own work environment. Share your ideas with your colleagues and see what other skills they're working on for the year ahead. Good luck!

The post 5 Human Skills That Will Help You Get Ahead in 2023 appeared first on Mind Tools.

Then I talked to Captain Mark Brouker, a former commanding officer at one of the largest naval hospitals in the world. He told me that the fundamentals of good leadership are the same the world over, in every conceivable setup.

Leadership Fundamentals

"At the end of the day, it's all about trust," he says. Whether you run a hospital, a community group, or a multinational corporation – the best way to build trust is to show that you care.

In his acclaimed new book, "Lessons from the Navy: How to Earn Trust, Lead Teams, and Achieve Organizational Excellence," Mark Brouker outlines six critical leadership behaviors that may challenge preconceptions about the armed forces.

Compassion is the secret weapon in any leader's arsenal, Mark Brouker believes. When you truly care about your people – get to know them and try to help – strong bonds of trust develop. With trust comes loyalty and a willingness to go the extra mile. And perhaps most importantly, a greater sense of well-being.

Intimidating Leaders

Near the start of Brouker's book, he makes the point that leadership always comes with some level of intimidation, and this can hinder building trust.

"By definition, leaders are kind of intimidating, because they dictate whether you have a job, frankly," says Brouker. "They dictate how much pay you're going to get. They have an enormous amount of power over you. And I think most leaders don't appreciate that level of natural intimidation."

The opposite of intimidation is being approachable, he says, and if we don't work on this proactively, we'll "default to intimidation" and create a culture of fear.

Listen Well

Brouker's book is full of tips that nurture approachability, and many of them depend on that most underused of leadership skills – listening.

"Listening is the ultimate way to show respect, because you're conveying: 'I value what you have to say. I may not agree, we may not go in that direction. But I'm going to listen, I'm going to analyze it, and I'm going to value what you have to say.' It's extremely powerful," he reflects.

He offers a memorable tool that anyone can use, leader or not. Whoever you're with, think of the acronym WAIT, which is short for "Why am I talking?"

You may be saying something important. In which case, fine. Or you may be missing an opportunity to listen instead, with all of its related benefits – like understanding your co-workers and building trust.

One place you can listen is wherever your people work. Brouker advocates simply walking around. Or, in the time of COVID-19, checking in by phone and video call.

Never forget, "You're trying to become approachable," he says. So smile, thank people for what they do, ask how you can help, and, of course, listen.

But displaying compassion is not without potential pitfalls. Some leaders might worry they come across as weak. Others may find themselves overpromising, telling people that everything's going to be OK when serious issues need attention.

Optimism Vs Realism

I asked Brouker how he marries optimism and realism. A positive outlook is good for morale, but glossing over problems hardly builds trust. He answered with a story about a big naval hospital in Bethesda, Maryland, where he was giving a talk on the value of optimism.

"Someone said, 'The parking here is a mess. You can't find a parking spot… How do you put a smile on your face on that?'" he recalls.

"And I said, 'Well, here's what I would say: welcome onboard the naval hospital Bethesda. We have a great team here. We work with the army. The Harvard president comes here. The congressmen and women come here. Great case mix complexity. The bad news is parking's terrible! You're going to have to get here early. Put on a good pair of shoes, get an umbrella, and call it a little physical fitness for you.' So, address the elephant in the room, but don't let it hijack the conversation."

We can be realistic and optimistic, Brouker believes, if we listen to people's problems and engage with solutions. It's respectful, it helps to build trust, and ultimately, it shows that we care.

Listen to Our Interview With Mark Brouker

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with our monthly Expert Interviews.

Mind Tools Premium and Corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Mark Brouker in the Mind Tools Club.

If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 200+ Expert Interviews. For corporate licensing, ask for a demo with one of our team.

The post Lessons in Listening: My Expert Interview With Captain Mark Brouker appeared first on Mind Tools.

Harvard professor Frances Frei and her partner, Anne Morriss, think they've got the answer. They've developed a practical framework for empowerment, based on their work as consultants and as senior executives at leading global companies.

At its heart is the idea that great leaders may not look like leaders at all – the only thing that matters is what they can do for others.

Trust, Love and Belonging

Morriss and Frei share their framework for empowerment in a new book, titled, "Unleashed: the Unapologetic Leader's Guide to Empowering Everyone Around You."

The framework is easy to visualize. It consists of five concentric circles, with each ring representing a different factor that leads to empowerment. The innermost circle is the closest to the leader, the outermost is the furthest away.

At the center is trust, the main foundation for empowering others. "Without trust," Frei says. "You don't get the benefit of the doubt, and things constantly get re-litigated."

Then comes love. This is an unusual context for "love," but Frei argues that "to really unleash someone in the world" is the greatest act of love you can perform for another person.

Belonging comes next. This is where leaders ensure that they truly see and serve everyone around them, no matter how different those people are. Like Frei herself.

The Big Unleash

"I'm a lot," admits Frei. "Because I want to change the world and I call things how I see them. I have gotten advice, I think, at every stage of my life, to smooth the edges, really trim who I am."

And in the beginning, she tried hard to follow that advice. The result?

"It was a disaster! I was terrible at fitting in, and I wasn't nearly as effective as the people who were born that way," she says.

This led to what she calls "the big unleash." She realized she needed to look beyond people's advice – what she calls "prescriptions" – and focus instead on why they were giving it.

"Often our prescriptions are only good for people that are just like us," she reflects. "So I stopped listening to the actual prescriptions and just started feeling [people's] deep devotion to my success. It totally changed my relationship with people and how I felt on the inclusion dial." 

The Inclusion Dial

The "inclusion dial" is another neat schematic you'll find in her book, in the belonging section. It moves through four steps that describe how team members feel on the path to inclusion: safe, welcome, celebrated, and cherished.

These steps are progressive, Frei says, so the order matters. People will only feel welcome once they feel safe. This then leads to celebration, and the final step is when everyone feels cherished – the ultimate in inclusion and a massive boost for an organization.

People often talk about "diversity and inclusion," she adds, but it's better when inclusion comes first. A culture of inclusion often leads to a diverse workforce, and that's not necessarily the case the other way around.

When you get inclusion right, and good leaders unleash the best from their people, organizations thrive. "That's how we're going to get more rigorous decisions," Frei says. "That's how we're going to be able to do things faster. How we're going to be able to do things at higher quality."

Listen to Our Interview With Frances Frei

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with our monthly Expert Interviews.

Mind Tools Premium and corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Frances Frei:

If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources. For our corporate solutions, take a look at our Emerald Works site.

What does inclusion mean to you? How can we unleash the best in our people? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.

The post Five Steps to Empowering Others: Our Expert Interview With Frances Frei appeared first on Mind Tools.

"In the highest-performing organizations, managers recognized excellence," he tells me, in our Expert Interview podcast. "That's how their employees defined this over and over again: 'When I go above and beyond, my manager notices and rewards that behavior in a way that is meaningful to me.'"

Unexpected Thanks

This certainly rings true for me.

I still have a note from a radio station manager, handwritten years ago, thanking me for creating a "consistently good" radio show, with interesting content and high-quality sound. "He listens!" I thought at the time, delighted. "To me!"

This unexpected expression of thanks boosted my motivation and kept me working hard on the graveyard shift, night after night.

According to Adrian Gostick, bespoke, personal thanks like this packs a powerful punch. It's one of the tips in his new book, "Leading with Gratitude: Eight Leadership Practices for Extraordinary Business Results," which is co-written with his long-time collaborator, Chester Elton.

The Two Sides of Gratitude

The authors see gratitude as a two-part process. The first part is seeing – not just what a person is doing, but how that work adds value to the team and the organization.

Beyond that, you also need to see past the work, all the way to the individual and what's important to them.

This is crucial to the second part of the process – expressing gratitude. This must be personalized, whether it's a hand-written thank you (like the one I received), a quick word in a corridor, or a thoughtful reward.

If the thanks isn't tailored to the person receiving it, it's barely worth expressing. To illustrate, Gostick recalled an anecdote about a manager who liked to show his gratitude with Starbucks cards. "It didn't matter if you cleaned out the supply cabinet or you saved a $1 million client, you got the $5 coffee card," Gostick recounts.

The manager insisted that people loved this system. Skeptical, Gostick suggested he ask a few of them, just to check.

So he did, and discovered that one of his team, who didn't like coffee, had been giving the gift cards to a neighbor. With a jolt, the manager realized he'd been rewarding his employee's neighbor for years.

Peer-to-Peer Recognition

One of Gostick's most useful tips is that anyone can help to build a culture of gratitude in the workplace, not just team leaders.

In fact, "Peer-to-peer recognition and gratitude is overtaking top-down," he says. And he shares a perfect example from his own company, the Culture Works.

One day, Gostick dropped by the office to collect something and found the team gathered in a group. One of his trainers, Chris, was thanking their logistics person, Barbanne.

"Chris had got to a city and realized he had no training materials," Gostick says. "The materials hadn't arrived, so he called in a panic. It's after five, Barbanne was still there and said, 'I'll take care of you.'"

"She grabbed some materials and found the last FedEx location out by the airport which would take a delivery at 7 p.m. and at 9 o'clock the next morning Chris had his materials in a different city, and he felt, 'Oh my gosh, I'm saved.' So [now], he is recognizing her… he's just thanking her for her dependability, for her ownership of that issue."

Gostick had stumbled upon this "recognition moment" by accident, and he was moved by how meaningful it was for his team.

Breaking Silos With Gratitude

In another memorable example, he tells us how peer-to-peer recognition helped one company break down silos. Weekly staff meetings, which included all 60 employees, always started with recognition. Random people would be asked to recognize somebody in another department who had helped them the previous week.

"So, John in sales was asked, who are you going to recognize today? And he said, 'I think I will recognize Aaron in accounting, because when I sell a deal Aaron always jumps in and talks to the client and makes them feel great about their purchase and gets the accounting working, so I want to recognize Aaron.' So, the boss would give Aaron a gift certificate," Gostick recalls.

This created a sense of one big team, "because everybody was worrying about who else they could help during a given week."

Gostick makes a strong case for the power of gratitude at work. Maybe the way to get more recognition is to give more. Who can you thank today?

Listen to Our Interview With Adrian Gostick

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with our monthly Expert Interviews.

Mind Tools Premium and corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Adrian Gostick in the Mind Tools Club.

If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources. For our corporate solutions, take a look at our Emerald Works site.

The post The Power of Gratitude: Our Expert Interview With Adrian Gostick appeared first on Mind Tools.

"Leadership is a series of behaviors, rather than a role for heroes."

It's Monday morning. Everything is silent, but for the snippets of birdsong that wander in through the open window. It feels weird, because even small towns like the one I live in have traffic on Friday afternoons and Monday mornings. But today there's no traffic. Nothing.

Half the world has closed down. And we're part of that half.

The Lucky Ones…

For some of us, like me, it's normal to be at home during the day because I mostly work from home anyway. I get up in the morning, shower, get dressed, and go to another room in my house, work and earn money – it's my routine.

Other people have been hastily equipped and sent home by their employers to work. They've had to learn how to be at home and function as if they're at the office. But they're lucky: they still have jobs and income.

Then there are the business owners who are stuck at home unable to work, but who are lucky enough to have savings that will pull them through the lockdown. Some of them are even able to pay their employees. Others will get paid through the government's unemployment fund.

…And the Unlucky Ones

In a developing country like South Africa, where I live, there are millions and millions of unlucky people. These are the people who work at menial jobs day in and day out, rely on social grants, or trade informally.

Many of them have no income and no way to make money. The informal traders are allowed to sell their goods, but they depend on people walking or driving past their stands. Now that everyone's at home, there's no one to buy their products.

Many people had hardly any food to begin with, but as the days progress their plight is getting worse and their situation is becoming desperate. By the beginning of the second week, the ugly reality of lockdown in a country like mine finally hit. People are beginning to starve.

When the lockdown was announced, our government promised food aid and other relief to people in distress. But, organizing and distributing food parcels and basic goods to millions and millions of people has been more difficult than was first thought. So the pressure has really ramped up for private organizations and individuals to lend a helping hand.

Stepping Up to Make a Difference

Three weeks ago, I saw a message on our town's Facebook group. It was from Chuck, a small business owner stuck at home. He said he was becoming aware of more and more people pleading for food on public platforms, including social media, and that he wanted to help. Who would join him?

I'm sure that up till then, many people in our small community had probably thought of helping. I'm also sure that many of them in their private capacity had helped one or two families with food.

But it took someone like Chuck, who had the courage to act, to stand up and make a difference.

Becoming a Leader When Not in Charge

Chuck is not in politics and he is in no way involved in the running of the town. Previously he wasn't even a well-known or influential person.

Initially, his project got off to a slow start with only a few of us involved. But that didn't discourage Chuck. He worked with the few people who had volunteered to help and did what he could. As the days went by the project gained traction. More and more people were asking for help. Luckily the number of volunteers and donations was also growing.

As of this morning, Chuck and his army of volunteers have – in the space of three short weeks – delivered thousands of food parcels big enough to feed a household for two weeks.

What Makes a Leader?

In Chuck's case, I believe his willingness to serve gave him the courage to act. This, combined with his compassion for his fellow citizens and his vision of helping people in an organized way, spurred on others to follow him. His passion also motivated businesses and individuals to chip in with money, time, vehicles, protective gear for volunteers, and sanitizing equipment.

When we're all tired and emotional – feeling that we can't possibly take one more call from a mother crying for baby formula or a pensioner desperate for a piece of bread – Chuck's enthusiasm and energy carries us through.

A Leader and a Hero

Remarkably, Chuck has not once taken any credit for the project that he started. When people thank him, he immediately says it's because of the volunteers and that none of the relief work would have been possible without them.

He is at the coalface every day, and his "pleases" and "thank yous" never dry up. Not once has he become impatient or frustrated, although there've been plenty of opportunities to do so.

Chuck wasn't looking to be a hero. But when no one else was able to, or didn't know how to, he was the one who stepped up to be a leader. Despite not being in charge of an official aid agency and not knowing a thing about grocery logistics (according to his wife), his project is a success! And it is making a real difference, alleviating the suffering of many thousands of people.

How to Be a Leader When You're Not in Charge – Tweet Chat Roundup

During our #MTtalk Twitter chat last Friday, we talked about how to be a leader when you're not in charge. Here are the questions we asked and some of your most insightful responses:

Q1. How is it possible to lead when you're not in charge? Who's going to follow you?

@JKatzaman There is assigned and earned leadership. Assigned leaders don't automatically have the skills. Those not assigned earn the respect and followership of others based on their performance and results.

@Midgie_MT I see it as taking initiative and making a suggestion of some sort of action. Plus, being considerate of others rather than bossy and telling people what to do.

Q2. What would motivate you to lead without being in charge?

@IamMuchiraGM If something is not being done as it should, I'd take charge and lead.

@Ganesh_Sabari The passion and urge to achieve perfection; sustained by the recognition of the achieved perfection.

Q3. What are some examples of where people could lead without being in charge?

@carriemaslen Simple ways to lead without being in charge: when you see something that needs to be addressed, do it; be a voice of reason and calm; be kind.

@SizweMoyo Share information freely, that's it. Your former struggle is still someone's struggle today, help them find their way.

Q4. Are some people more likely to take the lead than others? Does this matter? Why?

@MicheleDD_MT Some people do like to lead more than others. Could be a career goal (move up), they truly like to lead or it's part of their personality/makeup.

@harrisonia Yes, people who really embrace the mission are likely to take [the] lead sooner than others. But, we can't forget that there are people who seek power and they will take opportunities that come their way.

Q5. In what situations have you taken the lead through your own initiative?

@Dwyka_Consult Sometimes, being a leader also means taking a step back and giving someone else the opportunity to lead and learn. You're there and can help if necessary, but you can be a "silent backbone" too.

@YEPBusiness I was an official and unofficial crisis consultant for years professionally. But I've also been on the scene for some rapid chaos fixing over the years. I've also worked disasters and organically ended up leading/developing programs. I'm probably alpha bossy.

Q6. What makes it difficult to lead when you're not in charge?

@PG_pmp When people only want to work due to position or designation of a person.

@TheCraigKaye It depends on [the] project: if it's a legal one, jurisdiction may be an issue. There are also points of sign off and financial barriers. What we can bring is skill, creativity and enthusiasm to inspire those around us.

Q7. How can you increase your influence without having authority?

@ShajoeHR By standing up for the right things in [the] right way.

@CoachHollyW By meeting people where they are, seeking to understand, and making sure their needs are being met.

Q8. How might you handle a situation if you are challenged by a colleague about taking the lead?

@IamMuchiraGM Step aside to avoid conflict. Leadership is not about who has authority or whoever takes [the] lead but rather about who has influence.

@PmTwee Simply step away from the competition. When working for a common goal it is not correct to be racing. Encourage him, but don't forget to remind him when he goes wrong.

Q9. You gain a new manager who doesn't know about your informal leadership role – what do you do?

@Yolande_MT It's the ideal opportunity to truly be a servant leader. Be mindful.

@JKatzaman When getting acquainted with new managers, recap what you do, especially other duties as assigned or not. They can be agreeable or tell you to stay in your own lane, which might include updating your résumé.

Q10. What would you do differently next time you have the opportunity to lead when you're not in charge?

@lg217 Let my instincts and good judgment help me make the best decisions possible, and to remember that there will be disagreement. And those who don't approve of my decisions, sit down and talk with them and see why they do not agree with my choices and go from there.

@iqurattariq I will see if anyone else can take it up instead. If yes, I will do all I can to motivate them to step up, no pressure though. For you, the second time might be the same, but for someone else it might be the chance they have been waiting for.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat, here.

Coming Up

Being a good leader isn't always about having loads of followers. It's also about helping others to grow, and allowing them to use their talents.

In an organization the onboarding process is the first step to help people to reach their potential. So, in this week's poll, we'd like to know which onboarding issues you've experienced? To cast your vote click here.

Resources

In the meantime, here are some resources relating to the topic we discussed:

The PVI Model

Developing Charisma

How Strong Are Your Influencing Skills?

Boosting Your Self-Esteem

Leading Equals

Authentic Leadership

Leadership Motivation Tools

The Four Factor Theory of Leadership

Blanchard's ABCD Model of Trust

Adaptive Leadership

French and Raven's Five Forms of Power

How to Be a Good Role Model

Self-Mastery

Building Self-Confidence

The post Being a Leader When You're Not in Charge – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

A senior leader at Cisco, Goodall collaborated with bestselling author Marcus Buckingham on his book, subtitled “The Freethinking Leader’s Guide to the Real World.”

In it, Goodhall takes a sledgehammer to several fundamental ideas of leadership and management.

Forget Everything You Think You Know

So what is this "fake news," as Goodall puts it, that's hampering success in the workplace?

It ranges from the idea that “people care which company they work for” (they don’t, they care about teams) to “leadership is a thing” (it’s not, but "followership" is).

Goodall and Buckingham draw on research and real-life stories to build their case against each of the nine lies. The result is a compelling read that rings true and makes you think.

Self-Centered Feedback

For example, take lie number five: “people need feedback.” What’s wrong with that?

“It rests on the idea that if I [as the manager] don’t tell you how to get better, you’re never going to figure it out, and the best way for you to improve is to be more like me,” Goodall explains. 

This doesn’t work because we “learn by building on patterns of behavior in our own brains that are completely idiosyncratic.”  

“I can’t force you to see something differently. I can share with you my reaction to what you did… but I can’t actually compel you to grow by sharing with you a bunch of ideas that essentially boil down to 'here’s how I would do it.' Because you’re not me, and you never will be.” 

Turn Feedback On Its Head

He points out that it's easy for feedback to focus on risk mitigation, rather than on encouraging excellence. This can raise quality from negative to zero, but not from "zero to infinity," as seems to often be expected.

By contrast, those who understand that “there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to excellence” can really help their people fly.

The trick? Notice quality and react immediately.

“If you see somebody do something [great] on your team, go, 'Gosh, that really landed on me. That made a huge difference to me. That moved me. That impressed me. What were you thinking? Have you ever done that before? Could you do it again in different circumstances? Could you do it more powerfully?’” 

This approach turns the traditional feedback model on its head. 

Rather than focusing on your people – what they’re doing right, what they’re doing wrong – you focus on your own reactions. When you’re delighted with something, feed that back and then, with your team member, draw out what went well.

How to Truly Rate Performance

There’s a related lesson in lie number six: “people can reliably rate other people.” 

It turns out that humans are “reliable raters of not very much,” Goodall remarks. That emphatically includes managers rating the performance of their team. After all, what real benchmarks or metrics do they have except their own ideas of good work?

As with feedback, he urges us to turn performance measurement around. Instead of thinking, "Is Sam a high performer?" or "Is Sam underperforming?" think, “Do I always go to Sam for excellent work?” or “Is there an underperformance problem that I need to address now?”

Consider the difference for a moment. The answers to the first two questions will be completely subjective, making them little more than useless. By reframing the questions, the answers to the second set become more meaningful – as a reliable rater of the impact on your own work, rather than how well someone else is doing, you suddenly get much more reliable information.

“If you can structure your questions like that, you get good data,” Goodall says. “It’s reliable, but it also doesn’t attempt to solve the truth of [the team member] in some enduring way. So we can have a conversation about it."

And these conversations are more equal and more respectful.

A Win-Win

As Goodhall puts it, "I can say, ‘Here’s where I always go to you. Here’s where I hesitate.’ I’m not telling you to fix yourself. I’m just telling you about some characteristics of our working relationship that we can decide to ignore or we can decide to explore. It’s up to us.”

Underlying all of Goodall’s maverick advice is a critical need for mutual respect and humility. Managers can gain so much from being truly open-minded and willing to be surprised.

It's not easy, and some may feel conflicted if their people begin to shine brighter than they do themselves. But, ultimately, a thriving team will only reflect well on the team leader. So in the end, everybody can win. 

Listen to Our Interview With Ashley Goodall

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world’s leading business figures with our monthly Expert Interviews, available in text or as 30-minute audio downloads.

Mind Tools Premium Club and Corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Ashley Goodall in the Mind Tools Club.

If you're not a Mind Tools Premium Club member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 200+ Expert Interviews. For corporate membership, book a demo with one of our team.

Does Goodall's advice ring true? Are there any sacred cows you'd like to challenge in your organization? Join the discussion below!

The post Time to Ditch Our Workplace Myths: Our Expert Interview With Ashley Goodall appeared first on Mind Tools.

"When people say to me, 'Would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss?' my answer's always the same: to me, they're not mutually exclusive."
– David Brent, philosopher, philanthropist and motivational speaker (BBC TV's "The Office")

A horse walks into a bar… Anyone concerned that the punchline might be inappropriate, embarrassing or offensive? No? Good, because none of the resolutions to this classic one-liner are.

But what if I start with "Three Orthodox Jews walk into a bar…"? Who's a little uneasy now? The vast majority, no doubt, as this is not the type of content you expect from Mind Tools. It would be wholly inappropriate for our website and our audience.

Successful Humor in the Workplace

Herein lies the essence of using comedy and laughter at work: judging your audience, assessing the culture, and reading the mood.

Types of humor and comedy vary from workplace to workplace, and they very much depend on the culture. In my experience (working in almost every work environment, from small startups to giant corporations) the less hierarchical the company is, the more willing people are to crack jokes and push a few boundaries.

It's all a matter of understanding what's acceptable.

Humor usually has a bit of an edge to it (often, that's what makes it funny), but in an office environment, always err on the side of caution. If you're not sure the joke will 'land,' it's probably safer not to say it. The words of Laura Vanderkam, author of What the Most Successful People Do at Work, spring to mind: "Humor is hard to do well and easy to do badly."

Humor in the Workplace: Good For Your Career

There's pretty good evidence that injecting a little comedy into the workplace is good for your career. In a 2017 survey by Robert Half, almost 80 percent of senior executives said that an employee's sense of humor plays an important role in how well they fit the corporate culture.

Another recent study indicated that funny people are viewed as more competent than their more serious colleagues, with the "successful use of humor increasing status in both new and existing relationships."

If you can inject some comedy into your working day, people will likely enjoy working with you. You'll have lower stress levels, higher morale, and you'll be able to build trust among your colleagues, as comedy can offer a view of the "real" you.

Always Remember Where You Are

However, always keep in mind that workplaces aren't nightclubs, bars or social events, where the rules of what can be said (and, more importantly, what’s expected to be said) are vastly different. The people in your office are there to do their jobs, hopefully in a stable and safe environment.

If they can have a laugh in the process, all the better. But their sense of humor could be different to yours. Or, they may not understand your references. Maybe they're really busy. Or, they may just not be in the mood for giant belly laughs.

David Brent: The Unintentional Boss of Comedy Bosses

We all know someone who's always got a ready quip at hand, or can perk everyone up with a funny comment. These are the people who are, to coin a phrase, "naturally funny," and can judge whether something will get a chuckle.

None of this applies to David Brent, the hapless and mildly delusional comedy creation of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. Here is an office manager whose inability to read the mood of a room, suppress inappropriate comments, and make people laugh (intentionally, anyway) borders on the legendary.

Just take a peek at "The Office" (U.K. version), Season 2, Episode 1, for a demonstration of the dangers of misplaced humor. After about 10 minutes, the slow-motion comedy car crash begins. David Brent gives a welcome speech to several new employees, following the merger of two branches.

To call the humor misplaced would be a monumental understatement. Every joke falls flat, is badly timed, offensive, or just massively unfunny.

How to Alienate Colleagues and Annoy People

He starts with an improvised homophobic slur. Then, he quickly runs through a series of childish jokes, followed by a raft of bad impressions. Finally, there's a verbal attack on his audience for not understanding his comedy. Oh, and a bit later he tries a racist joke, in a desperate attempt to rescue his credibility. And then all is quiet.

Should you ever need to annoy and alienate your team members, and ensure that you lose all their respect, this is the instructional video for you!

Leaders Don’t Have to Be Funny, Just Lead

David Brent is probably right when he states that being a great boss and being funny aren’t mutually exclusive. But Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs, or Sir Alan Sugar have never come across as particularly funny. They’re just great at what they do.

Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership.” But it shouldn’t be the central theme of your leadership – leading should be.

So, for those of you who are thinking about cracking out Jackie Mason's Big Book of After-Dinner Jokes and letting rip, please, please, please be careful. You need to know your audience, understand what’s acceptable in today’s working environment, and keep it light.

And in Conclusion…

The barman said, "Why the long face?" The barman then confused an idiom with a joke, and offered the horse some water. But he couldn’t make him drink. Now that's funny!

The post Humor in the Workplace: Not a Laughing Matter! appeared first on Mind Tools.

But becoming a manager isn't always that easy. Yes, you've taken a step up the career ladder, but now it's not just you that you have to look out for. There's a whole team depending on you – and some of them will likely be your former peers. You count them as friends. You've turned to them for advice. Perhaps you've even moaned to them about the job, the boss, or the management.

So, how do you react? Do you dive right in and start throwing your weight around, to "show 'em who's boss"? Or, do you try to stay "one of the guys" by taking a more laid-back approach?

And what about them? Will they be happy for you? Envious? Annoyed?

Managing friends or former peers can be a minefield. In this blog post, two Mind Tools managers share their experiences of taking the leap from colleague to boss…

Case Study One: "Managing Friends Is Not What I Expected"

By Kelsey Batchelor, Senior Client Success Manager

About 18 months ago, I spoke with my boss about the prospect of me taking up a managerial role on the team. It was an exciting opportunity, but it would mean that I'd be managing one of my closest friends.

I was worried about how it would affect my relationship with my friend. I'd even been Best Woman at his wedding. Now, I would be his boss.

However, after thinking it over for a long time, I decided that the new position was too good an opportunity to turn down.

Lucky for me, he was very excited at the prospect. But I still felt fearful. I was the person that he turned to when he clashed with his previous manager. What would happen now? Would he still talk to me about problems like this? Or, would he start hiding things from me?

To begin with, things were a bit strange and awkward. I spent loads of time trying to find the right balance between being his friend and being his manager. And, there were times when I had to bring up small issues with him, like turning up to work late.

I'm not sure he took it seriously – after all, I was his friend. We had a number of conversations about the fact that, at times, he had to see me as his manager. For example, when we were in one-on-ones, or during meetings.

So, while the dynamics of our relationship did change at work, they didn't change outside of it. At work, I'm his manager. I help him to work through his frustrations and challenges, so that he can continue his professional development and, hopefully, manage a team of his own one day. But outside of work, we're just the same as we were before: good friends, who can have a laugh and a joke.

If I'm honest, managing friends is not what I expected. I thought it would be much easier. I assumed that because he was my friend, he'd be the perfect staff member. In fact, it was a lot harder, because sometimes he acted as if nothing had changed. He didn't always appreciate the responsibilities that came with my new role.

But, though it was hard to start with, now it's so satisfying to see someone whom I care about personally and professionally do so well.

Case Study Two: "I Was Very Driven to Be Liked"

By Simon Hulcoop, Senior Manager EMEA

When I first became a manager, I was keen to have open and honest conversations with my team members. I wanted to let them know that I empathized with them, and that, if the roles were reversed, I may have felt envious or worried about how the new dynamic would work.

So, I asked them, "How do you like to work? How do you like to be managed?"

Because I already knew them, I understood what they liked and disliked, and what motivated or bugged them. This really helped during the transition period.

And they knew a lot about me, too! They were confident that I knew the job inside out, and that I already had a proven track record for success.

To start with, I was very driven to be liked, and this did impact my leadership style. I became more laid-back than I'd have liked to be.

If you're not careful, being too accommodating toward team members who are also your friends can negatively impact the wider team and even the organization.

For example, I once worked in a company where a sales manager allowed his friend on the team to offer discounts to potential customers. But he wouldn't allow his other team members to do the same. This distorted the team's results, because it looked like she was performing better than the others. Eventually, it caused her colleagues to become resentful and cynical toward her.

Consistency and fairness are vital when you're managing friends. You should make decisions with the entire group in mind, so that others don't feel left out or hard done by. No matter what decisions you make as a manager, you can guarantee that the rest of your team is talking about them and comparing information.

So, it's essential to be as open and transparent as possible. Keep a record of everything, to show that you're being fair. How you delegate work, and the system that you use for granting time off, are particularly sensitive areas.

Occasionally, you'll discover bad practice, and you'll have to call it out. For example, I found out that some people on my team were making random calls just to get their figures up, even though they knew the calls wouldn't end in a successful sale.

I always try my best to avoid arguing publicly, but I couldn't simply ignore this behavior. I had to confront it, and I don't think they expected me to take the strong stance that I did.

But I didn't cut off my friendships completely after I became manager. I still socialized with the team – but I knew when it was time to leave!

Also, there were new, extra pressures on me from senior management. I had my own targets to reach, but I was now responsible for supporting my team's targets, too.

And I was expected to "side" with senior managers' way of thinking. After all, I was one of them now, and I should use the approaches that they thought were right, even if I didn't always agree with them. So, I had some serious dilemmas to resolve. Should I stick up for what I thought was right, or submit to their way of doing things? Sometimes you have to pick and choose, depending on the situation.

And, finally, one of things that I found the most difficult about managing friends was having to delegate some of my old tasks to them. Letting go of projects that I worked really hard on, and made my own, was tough. I still miss some of my old duties, even though passing them on to others has given me more time to focus on my managerial responsibilities.

What are your experiences of managing friends? How did people react when you got promoted? What did you do to establish your credibility as a manager? Share your thoughts, below.

The post From "Bestie" to Boss: Managing Friends and Keeping Them appeared first on Mind Tools.

This is the idea behind Roberta Chinsky Matuson's new book, "The Magnetic Leader." In it, she proposes that "irresistible leaders" attract more than just great employees. Their ability to lead an energized and engaged workforce can also boost customer numbers and profits.

Do You Have the Makings of a Magnetic Leader?

You may think that the kind of "pulling power" needed to be a magnetic leader is innate. And that, if you don't have it now, you never will.

As a talent-management coach, Matuson takes a nuanced view of this. On the one hand, she agrees that reluctant leaders will never be great ones. As she explains: "You cannot teach people desire, and if they don't want to be in that job, no matter how much training you do, they are not going to be an effective leader."

On the other hand, she affirms that, if a person really does want to lead and wants to succeed in their role, then they have the potential to become a magnetic leader.

It doesn't matter if this doesn't come naturally at first. "Some people find it more difficult than others to learn how to ride a bicycle, but eventually they master the skill and they go on to race professionally," she points out, in our Expert Interview podcast. "If you really want to do it, you can do it. You just have to be fully committed."

The Seven Key Traits

In her book she outlines the seven key traits that magnetic leaders have, starting with authenticity. It's a characteristic we hear a lot about these days, and I put it to Matuson that the benefits of authenticity depend on your personality. Being authentically selfish, for example, isn't going to increase your pulling power.

She agrees, adding that ultimately, it's consistency that matters. "Let’s just say you're a little prickly," she imagines. "You're a tough boss, but you're fair. Well, if you're consistent, people will appreciate it… They're never wondering, 'What does he really mean?’"

Another key trait is good communication. For Matuson, this means communicating frequently and clearly. But this can be difficult, particularly in the busy, multi-generational and geographically dispersed workplaces of today.

"We've got five generations in the workplace right now and their communication styles differ," clarifies Matuson. "For example, I'm a baby boomer. If you want to have a conversation with me, and we're not in the same building, pick up the phone. Stop with the texts already, because we could have resolved this issue in one minute [on the phone]. Whereas a younger person, a millennial, they're like, 'Why are you calling me? I don't answer my phone. Send me a text.’"

The way to reach team members of all ages is, first, to understand which mode of communication works best for them, and second, to be upfront about how you're going to communicate with them, bearing their preferred method in mind.

"A strong communicator would say to an employee, 'Listen, I get the fact that you love texts. I'm going to tell you right now that is not the way I communicate. So I am going to need you to check your emails once a day. I will be sending them and I will expect you to be reading them,’" Matuson asserts.

Another magnetic trait is having vision. But, what can you do if you don't feel very visionary?

"Surround yourself with the kind of people who are visionaries," Matuson suggests. "You have to attend events where you're meeting people who could perhaps become a mentor to you, somebody who is known in the industry for thinking big. And you have to let go of some of your self-limiting beliefs. You have to start looking ahead and seeing what's out there, and educating yourself, so that you can be in front of things rather than behind… We've all seen organizations which are floundering because they don't quite know who they are, and you don't see people jumping from their jobs to go work for a company that's in chaos."

The other four traits of the magnetic leader are selflessness, charisma, transparency, and resilience.

The Final Trait: Resilience

In this audio clip from our Expert Interview podcast, Matuson offers some tips on how you can develop these qualities, starting with the final one, resilience.

Listen to the full 30-minute interview in the Mind Tools Club. ¦ Install Flash Player.

What's your definition of a magnetic leader? What qualities do you think are most important in a magnetic leader? And do you think you have what it takes to be one? Join the discussion below!

The post The Seven Key Qualities of a Magnetic Leader appeared first on Mind Tools.